Course Dag gets dubious like she does and asks how come hes sending three kids? Dang, girl, I know the answer to that! Walgreen caught Robbie lifting a Gillette Mach 5 three months back and now they keep a video cam snap of Robbie taped on the register. But Dag is Dag and she goes on all opinionated about how Robbie doesnt have any excuse to stay home cuz its not like hes wheelchair fat. Ha! Robbie gives her a look like hes King Théoden from Two Towers and he sits his royal butt down on his busted ass easy chair that has a Dominos box to cushion his sore back. Fat boys backs always paining him. Then he lays his whole plan out. I end up super glad Dag asked cuz what Robbie says is straight up nuts.

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Basically Robbie explains how hes gonna put all kinds a hard ass drugs into normal ass candies and pass that stuff out to trick or treaters tonight. See, this is why I hang out with this fat fool. Robbies dull as a park bench most days but every once in a while, blam, he does something crazy nobody ever ever saw coming. Like the time he bought himself two tarantulas, they were like tarantula brother and sister I guess, and he let them crawl their hairy asses all around the crib. Course then fat boy couldnt get neither one from under the couch and suddenly got all super scared of tarantulas and all a us were hopping on top the furniture and screaming, and when Robbie finally scooted them in a bucket he went straight out back and filled that bucket with dirt and buried that bucket and since then no ones ever mentioned nothing about any tarantulas.

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This candy plan is double or triple times more messed up than anything Robbies ever planned. Dag acts like she already knows about it. She tells Robbie to tell me how come hes gonna do it, and Robbie is like them assheads deserve it, and Dag says to explain how children can be assheads if their brains arent grown, and Robbie says hes talking about their asshead parents. Dag looks at me and Midge and nods wise cuz like <See?> And we all feel that truth. Grown up adults have been doing Robbie wrong since forever and I guess they probably are due for revenge.

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