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Chapters (38)
  1. Cover
  2. Also By Daniel Kraus
  3. Title Page
  4. Copyright
  5. Dedication
  6. Money
  7. Supermilk
  8. Bugs
  9. My Wiener
  10. Gwendolyn
  11. Midget
  12. Walgreen
  13. Dick Trickle
  14. Scrapbook
  15. Apples
  16. Dag
  17. Love
  18. My Wiener Part 2: The Two Towers
  19. Moms
  20. Phone Call
  21. Phone Call 2
  22. Punch
  23. Robbie
  24. Natural Light
  25. Flypaper
  26. Kyle
  27. Queen
  28. Fam
  29. Dragon
  30. Walgreen 2
  31. Dick Trickle 2
  32. Feast
  33. Shower
  34. Music
  35. The Fly
  36. My Wiener Part 3: The Return of the King
  37. Mrs F
  38. Ghosts

<You saved my Roy. You saved my Roy when no one else was brave enough to do it. These girls here? My granddaughters? My granddaughters whom I love so dearly? They would not be here if not for you. You remember that. You look at them standing here, in the flesh, and you be proud of that. I wish Roy would have come with us tonight. I asked him to but you know how it is. He doesnt even remember that night. He knows he has that scar on his neck but beyond that it doesnt mean much to him. I love that son of mine, but hes wrong. It means a great deal. Hes at that dinner party tonight, with his wife, with his friends, because of your courage. Remember that when times are tough. And theyre tough now, I can see that. Courage like yours does not disappear with age.>

* * *

Robbies head tilts down like he cant look at any old persons face anymore. He looks at Rabbit and Raccoon and he looks at their plastic pumpkins and he looks at his bag a evil candies and he looks at the floor. Mrs F scratches the back a his greasy hair the same as how me and Dag scratched Gwendolyn before we sent her to doggie heaven and then Mrs F takes her hand back and it lands right between Rabbits rabbit ears. I think up a joke to crack cuz jokes are what Im skilled at and jokes help lighten the mood, and it goes something like how Ive never seen a rabbit or raccoon on Yellow Street that wasnt roadkilled. Its funny up in my head but it wont drag its jokey ass across my tongue.

* * *

<Now.> Mrs F straights up her back like shes school teaching. <If its all right with you Im going to ignore what you said on the phone and Im going to continue calling you at the end of each month the same as Ive always done. Furthermore, this Nana here plans to keep calling you until the day they turn off my life support. Is that understood?>

* * *

Robbie nods. He doesnt look at her but he nods.

* * *

She goes <Well, now, I see you have some young guests. Hello, Jody, its very nice to see you again. Hello, friends of Jodys.>

* * *

<Hello, maam> I say.

* * *

<Hello, maam> Dag says.

* * *

Midget doesnt talk.

* * *

<And I also see you have yourself a big bag of candy. We cant let that go to waste, can we, girls? Youve got a big night ahead of you, Robbie, and we shall not take up any more of your time.>

* * *