Chapters (48)
- 1. One
- 2. Two
- 3. Three
- 4. Four
- 5. Five
- 6. Six
- 7. Seven
- 8. Eight
- 9. Nine
- 10. Ten
- 11. Eleven
- 12. Twelve
- 13. Thirteen
- 14. Fourteen
- 15. Fifteen
- 16. Sixteen
- 17. Seventeen
- 18. Eighteen
- 19. Nineteen
- 20. Twenty
- 21. Twenty-One
- 22. Twenty-Two
- 23. Twenty-Three
- 24. Twenty-Four
- 25. Twenty-Five
- 26. Twenty-Six
- 27. Twenty-Seven
- 28. Twenty-Eight
- 29. Twenty-Nine
- 30. Thirty
- 31. Thirty-One
- 32. Thirty-Two
- 33. Thirty-three
- 34. Thirty-Four
- 35. Thirty-Five
- 36. Thirty-Six
- 37. Thirty-Seven
- 38. Thirty-Eight
- 39. Thirty-Nine
- 40. Forty
- 41. Forty-One
- 42. Forty-Two
- 43. Forty-three
- 44. Epilogue
- Afterword
- Also by
- Acknowledgments
- About Author
“Can we talk for just a minute?” When I didn’t respond, he continued. “I really am sorry. You never even let us explain. I tried calling you so many times after…”
I knew he tried to call. They all did. Instead of ever facing them and what happened, I got a new number and never gave it to them. After I discovered them, I kept driving until I ran out of gas, finally pulling into a small coffee shop in the middle-of-nowhere Oklahoma. The only thing I had on me was my laptop. I withdrew it and searched for a job that would get me as far as possible from Colorado. Eventually, I found an ad for a podcast editor, and although it didn’t pay much, it seemed like a good option. It was remote, so I could work from anywhere, and I wanted to choose someplace where I was my happiest. I remembered when I was nine and we went to West Palm Beach. I figured until I got my crap together, that’s where I would go. And I stayed there as long as I could without Mom making me feel terrible for not visiting. This year was the last straw. All bad blood with Sarah and Logan aside, I missed my family.
“I know neither of us deserve your forgiveness, but I do miss you being my friend. I did love you, Olive. I know it seemed like I didn’t after that. But I can’t explain it, I just fell in love with her the moment I met her. I didn’t want to, but it was inevitable. I wish I could say I was drunk or that I had a momentary lapse in judgement. But I didn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I regret it. Every day I regret how we went about it. It was wrong, and Olive I am so sorry. Nothing was going to stop us from being together, but I never planned to hurt you.”
I knew neither of them wanted to hurt me, and that neither of them made a plan to rip my heart out that day. But they did, and one day I could possibly forgive them, I couldn’t erase the memory that replayed in my head all the time. I sat up, wiping my tears and forcing myself to meet his eyes. I’d missed my best friends. Both of them. I missed the people that I loved so dearly, and I wanted that relationship back with both of them. But it felt too late.
“I know you didn’t mean to break my heart. But you did. You both did. And maybe one day I can look back on all of this and forgive you, but that day is not today.” I kept my voice strong even though my throat was tight and scratchy.