I smiled at the handwritten note and got up to stretch. Afterward, I reached for my phone and found multiple missed texts.

Matt: Do you need me to come get you? Finn texted me.

Taylor: Is everything okay? I miss you. Let’s get coffee.

Unknown: Can I talk to you?

The unknown number grabbed my attention the most, so I replied to it first. Assuming it was my sister, I typed, Sarah? and waited for a reply.

In the meantime, I made Finn’s bed and studied his room. The space was mature and masculine, with dark green walls and wooden furniture, but some of his boyish items were still scattered around. Like the giant jug of coins in the corner and a picture of him hugging a woman I assumed was his mom, Finn with a graduation cap on his head. He had several plane tickets on display in front of his mirror and an absurd amount of spearmint gum stacked beside it. I smiled at the sight, which was so very Finn.

Last night was one of the first times since my ex that I found myself picturing a future with a man. I envisioned us recreating these two weeks every Christmas, and walking around this cabin barefoot and giggling at his terrible jokes. I was equal parts terrified and excited by the prospect. I had been so numb for so long, purposefully building steel-reinforced walls and keeping everyone out. Now that I had been so spoiled by Finn, and now that he’d managed to tear down some of those walls, I wasn’t sure how to go back to normal.

Normal.

I was leaving in five days. Reality was sinking in, and my stomach churned. How was I supposed to leave him? Leave everything we’d shared and built behind?

I shoved down the anxious thoughts and told myself it would all work out, because it always did.

I texted Matt back and shared my location, asking him to pick me up. I walked back into the living room and saw the title screen for It’s a Wonderful Life still on the TV. I smiled to myself and bit my lip.

To the empty room, I whispered, “Maybe I don’t hate all things Christmas.”

I freshened up as much as I could without having any of my products and pulled on the clothes Finn gave me last night. I pulled the drawstring on my borrowed sweatpants as tight as possible and waddled my way through his house. Matt said he was thirty minutes away, so I decided to clean up while I waited. I wiped down his counters and coffee table, threw dirty laundry in the hamper in his bedroom, and generally straightened up. It felt oddly domestic, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love it.

When Matt pulled up, he honked the horn, and I walked out of the house and hopped into his truck, smiling.