‘She looks like you. Kate, I mean. When I saw her sitting at that table, for a split second, I thought…’ He sighed heavily. ‘Everything’s mixed up in me. The past and the present, you know?’

‘…Well.’ I strove for humour. ‘I don’t need to remind you that your mum’s just died.’

‘Yeah.’ Another world-weary sigh. ‘I thought it would be just about missing her, but everything is fucked up. Justin and I are scrapping the way we did when we were kids—so much for any mad fantasies about moving back to Ireland. Forget it. We can’t address a civil word to each other. Which isn’t ideal when we’re living in his house.’

‘Aren’t you staying with your dad?’

‘Maybe you don’t know? They sold their house a few years back, now they—I mean Dad, Christ, I keep forgetting—is in a one-bedroomed flat. I could sleep on the couch but it’s not fair to do that to…’ He hesitated. ‘To Kallie, my partner.’

WhoIsSheWhereDidYouMeetHerDoYouLoveHerMoreThanYouLovedMe…

I cleared my throat. ‘How’s your dad doing?’

‘A good day today. He has lung disease, COPD, in case you didn’t know.’

How would I know? I didn’t even know what it was.

‘Used to be called emphysema. It’s a hard thing to see. To be honest, after a day there, I’m glad to escape back to Justin’s.’ After a short pause, he blurted, ‘And yeah, I feel super-guilty about that.’

‘Try not to feel guilty.’ More therapy-speak but it was the only way I felt safe talking to him. ‘Carers always feel guilty, they never think they do enough. But they need to take care of themselves too.’

‘Ah, I’m grand,’ he said. ‘I don’t need to take care of myself.’

Yeah. Whatever. ‘So I’d better get back to work.’ He couldn’t miss the sudden snippiness of my tone.

Quickly, he said, ‘You got a dog?’

‘Um, yes, Crunchie.’ Just thinking about her warmed my heart. ‘Rescue dog.’

‘Part golden retriever? Part…?’

‘Corgi. She has cute corgi legs. She makes me really happy.’

‘Yep, dogs are great.’

‘True that. Do you have…?’

‘Ah, no. I wasn’t sure if…No. No dog. Not yet, anyway. Sorry for disturbing you at work.’

‘It’s okay, it’s my lunch break.’

‘Joey says you’re still an addiction counsellor. At the Cloisters, of all places?’

‘Head counsellor, actually. I train up the newbies.’

‘Seriously? Wow. And how does that work? They do regular tests to check you’re clean?’

‘…What? No. They trust me. And I trust me.’

‘Is Nola still in your life? Tell her I said hey.’

My lips tightened. He could fuck off, acting like we were friends again.

‘So. Thanks for being so cool about me showing up at your home. That sort of shit—it’s not who I am.’