BooksBarbecue
Back Again, Rachel
Chapters (98)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. 16
  20. 17
  21. 18
  22. 19
  23. 20
  24. 21
  25. 22
  26. 23
  27. 24
  28. 25
  29. 26
  30. 27
  31. 28
  32. 29
  33. 30
  34. 31
  35. 32
  36. 33
  37. 34
  38. 35
  39. 36
  40. 37
  41. 38
  42. 39
  43. 40
  44. 41
  45. 42
  46. 43
  47. 44
  48. 45
  49. 46
  50. 47
  51. 48
  52. 49
  53. 50
  54. 51
  55. 52
  56. 53
  57. 54
  58. 55
  59. 56
  60. 57
  61. 58
  62. 59
  63. 60
  64. 61
  65. 62
  66. 63
  67. 64
  68. 65
  69. 66
  70. 67
  71. 68
  72. 69
  73. 70
  74. 71
  75. 72
  76. 73
  77. 74
  78. 75
  79. 76
  80. 77
  81. 78
  82. 79
  83. 80
  84. 81
  85. 82
  86. 83
  87. 84
  88. 85
  89. 86
  90. 87
  91. 88
  92. 89
  93. 90
  94. 91
  95. 92
  96. 93
  97. 94
  98. Acknowledgements

I shrugged. ‘I’m not. They just seemed obvious hiding places. The whole thing was risky, though. If we hadn’t found the earrings and poor Mabel was a goner, we’d have blamed each other.’

‘I knew we’d find them.’

‘Is it a man thing? That confidence?’

He shrugged, ‘It’s a me thing.’ Then, ‘I like you.’

‘You don’t know me.’

‘There’s something here. You know there is.’

‘I’m not looking for anything.’

‘I hear you. I’m a commitment-phobe. I’m lonely and I crave intimacy, but I still fuck it up. What’s your story?’

‘My husband—’ It was still too difficult to say the words, My husband left me. I began again. ‘My marriage broke up. We’d really loved each other…I’m not sure I’ll ever get over it.’

He seemed entertained by this. ‘Of course you will. You were just waiting to meet me.’

‘Why did you and your wife split up?’

‘Yeah. Look…I slept with someone else.’

Even though it was the oldest story in the world, I was still upset.

‘This is the thing.’ Quin sighed. ‘I thought if I was honest with you? But if I don’t say upfront what I did, people get angry when I do tell them—’

‘By “people” you mean women?’

‘Yeah. So I get judged either straight out of the gates or further down the line.’

‘Maybe you shouldn’t have cheated.’

‘No maybe about it. I’m flawed, like, very. But I’m trying to do better. I’ve been seeing a therapist. Eleven weeks now, I haven’t missed a session. And I’m voluntarily…’ He hesitated over the word. ‘…celibate.’

‘Oh?’ I was astonished. Celibate friends was really not the vibe I’d been getting.

Quickly he said, ‘It was never meant to be forever. I just needed to stop the meaningless stuff.’

‘Has there been a lot of “meaningless stuff”?’

Warily, he eyed me. With the tiniest little shrug, he said, ‘Some, I guess.’

I could believe it. ‘And how long has this “voluntary celibacy” been going on?’

‘Let’s seeee…I want to say five months?’

‘So, since October?’

He thought about it. ‘Maybe not five months. When are we now? March? There’s been no one this entire calendar year.’

‘That’s not even three months.’

‘…I thought it was longer. It’s certainly felt it.’

Rachel! This is red flag central.

I was in full agreement with my internal voice, something that didn’t always happen. It wasn’t that I worried Quin would hurt me—I’d never love another man the way I’d loved Luke, which made me invulnerable. But the last thing I wanted was drama.