BooksBarbecue
Back Again, Rachel
Chapters (98)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. 16
  20. 17
  21. 18
  22. 19
  23. 20
  24. 21
  25. 22
  26. 23
  27. 24
  28. 25
  29. 26
  30. 27
  31. 28
  32. 29
  33. 30
  34. 31
  35. 32
  36. 33
  37. 34
  38. 35
  39. 36
  40. 37
  41. 38
  42. 39
  43. 40
  44. 41
  45. 42
  46. 43
  47. 44
  48. 45
  49. 46
  50. 47
  51. 48
  52. 49
  53. 50
  54. 51
  55. 52
  56. 53
  57. 54
  58. 55
  59. 56
  60. 57
  61. 58
  62. 59
  63. 60
  64. 61
  65. 62
  66. 63
  67. 64
  68. 65
  69. 66
  70. 67
  71. 68
  72. 69
  73. 70
  74. 71
  75. 72
  76. 73
  77. 74
  78. 75
  79. 76
  80. 77
  81. 78
  82. 79
  83. 80
  84. 81
  85. 82
  86. 83
  87. 84
  88. 85
  89. 86
  90. 87
  91. 88
  92. 89
  93. 90
  94. 91
  95. 92
  96. 93
  97. 94
  98. Acknowledgements

His face was raised to the try-hard sun but at the sound of my car, he looked for me. From a long way away, his eyes met mine. The impact felt physical.

By the time I’d parked, he’d walked over. I opened the car door into a rough breeze. Overhead, seabirds circled, their cries harsh.

‘Hi.’ Luke hadn’t shaved. Dark bristles shaded his jaw and shaped his mouth. Up close, in the glassy light, occasional strands of silver flashed in his hair. They were new. At least, new to me.

Out of nowhere, the ground felt unsteady. This was a mistake. Too soon.

‘What?’ He’d noticed something was off. ‘You’ve changed your mind?’

‘No, I…’

His eyes scoured my face.

‘Sorry,’ I said. ‘Forgot how weird this all is. I think I got over-confident.’

‘Over-confident?’ I couldn’t read his tone. ‘O-kay.’ Clenching his jaw, he stared towards the water. Then, ‘So? We staying or going?’

‘Might as well stay. You’ve driven all this distance.’ All seven kilometres.

‘Sarcasm?’

Sudden fury surged in me. ‘Yeah.’

He slanted me a glance; he seemed unimpressed.

I began walking along the blue-grey shingle, my boots on the stones sounding like coins rattling in a jar. Luke followed, then caught up.

‘Thanks for calling me today,’ he said.

‘…Um, sure. It made sense—you’re the only other person on earth who knows how I feel. No one can help us the way we could help each other.’ Then I wanted to add, And, finally, you’re talking to me. But with incredible restraint I contented myself with, ‘We never got the chance to do it before.’

‘And whose fault is that?’

Surprised at his tone, I said, ‘We know whose fault it is.’ Puzzled, I watched until his glower faded.

‘Yeahhhhh.’ He sighed. ‘Does Quin know where you are?’

‘Yes.’ I mean, he knew where I was. But he didn’t know who I was with. ‘Does Kallie know where you are?’

‘Of course.’

Although I had no real clue what to make of Kallie, it seemed important to bury any signs of jealousy. ‘I like Kallie,’ I heard myself say. Then forced the words, ‘A lot.’

Watching the waves, he said, ‘So do I.’ He turned to look straight into my face and emphasized, ‘A lot.’

Hearing it felt surprisingly painful.

‘Are you planning to…have kids?’

The idea twisted something terrible in me. But I had to admit that another child of Luke’s in the world could only be beautiful.