BooksBarbecue
Back Again, Rachel
Chapters (98)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. 16
  20. 17
  21. 18
  22. 19
  23. 20
  24. 21
  25. 22
  26. 23
  27. 24
  28. 25
  29. 26
  30. 27
  31. 28
  32. 29
  33. 30
  34. 31
  35. 32
  36. 33
  37. 34
  38. 35
  39. 36
  40. 37
  41. 38
  42. 39
  43. 40
  44. 41
  45. 42
  46. 43
  47. 44
  48. 45
  49. 46
  50. 47
  51. 48
  52. 49
  53. 50
  54. 51
  55. 52
  56. 53
  57. 54
  58. 55
  59. 56
  60. 57
  61. 58
  62. 59
  63. 60
  64. 61
  65. 62
  66. 63
  67. 64
  68. 65
  69. 66
  70. 67
  71. 68
  72. 69
  73. 70
  74. 71
  75. 72
  76. 73
  77. 74
  78. 75
  79. 76
  80. 77
  81. 78
  82. 79
  83. 80
  84. 81
  85. 82
  86. 83
  87. 84
  88. 85
  89. 86
  90. 87
  91. 88
  92. 89
  93. 90
  94. 91
  95. 92
  96. 93
  97. 94
  98. Acknowledgements

Which baffled my ‘loved ones’ (my sisters and parents). Alcohol hadn’t been a big problem for me back in the day, it had been all the other stuff. But I was a person who could get addicted to rice cakes. To tap water. To tofu, magnolia paint, nude lip gloss, boiled cauliflower—anything. No matter how bland, how unremarkable, I could get addicted to it. So, no alcohol for Rachel.

‘How’re you bearing up?’ Claire asked.

‘We’ll save it until we’re inside. Tell me what’s going on with you.’

She pressed her lips together. ‘You know Adam?’

The man she’d been with for twenty-three years? ‘Er…’

‘And you know our friends, Piet and Beatriz?’

‘Mmmm.’ They were fairly new but Claire and Adam seemed to see a lot of them. They were a bit flashy. Very Claire. No offence meant.

‘So, turns out that they’re swingers.’

Oh, here we go. The real surprise was that Claire hadn’t taken up swinging much sooner.

Valiantly, I said, ‘No judgement.’ My personal brand was ‘In Recovery but Still Great Fun’; it was important to seem breezy about all lifestyle choices in case I stopped being invited to things. People were already uncomfortable around me when they wanted to get hammered and I was sitting there, nursing a Diet Coke. I worked hard to never seem disapproving.

But the truth was that I had a good deal of judgement here. Based entirely on the fact that I wouldn’t like to swing with Piet—he was too big, he shaved his head and he wore chunky gold rings.

‘They want to, you know, swing with us. Beatriz fancies Adam and Piet fancies me.’

Well, they were all adults.

‘Piet wants to date me. And Beatriz would, yeah, date Adam.’

Dating? I’d visualized swinging as a more generalized sort of thing, that they’d all be flubbing round together, like kids in a ball pit. But dating? That sounded a lot more…intimate.

Unless ‘dating’ just meant ‘riding’?

‘Piet suggested it to Adam. Adam told him to sling it. But I’d, you know…I think I want to.’

‘You can’t make Adam swing if he doesn’t want to.’

‘…yeeeahh. Maybe I should just have a thing with Piet? He’s always giving me hot stares and saying things like “If I didn’t know that Adam would throttle me…” It’s sexy.’

‘Having a thing with Piet is different from swinging.’ Then, ‘Claire, are you sure you want to be a swinger? It sounds to me that you just fancy Piet.’

She exhaled. ‘I really fancy Piet. On the mercifully rare occasions I have to have sex with Adam, I pretend it’s Piet.’