I sat up, searching for my clothes, but gently he pulled me back to lie next to him. Stroking my hair off my face, he kissed away my tears. ‘It’s okay.’

‘It’s not.’

‘You’re afraid of intimacy,’ he said.

I cry-laughed. ‘What would you know?’

‘I read the books you gave me. They say that addicts fear intimacy. Because you don’t feel good enough.’

‘I’m not good enough.’

‘You are so good enough. I love you. But you’re scared.’

‘C’mon, let’s get dressed.’ I was heartsick, certain I’d never have the confidence to try this again.

‘Hey.’ He rolled over onto me. ‘We don’t have to do anything you don’t want. But would you trust me?’

‘To do what?’

He sat up in bed. ‘So if you come here to me…’

He helped me to clamber onto his lap. I clasped my arms tightly around his neck, pulling at his thin silver chain and braided leather cord, praying that whatever we were trying would work.

‘It’s all okay.’ His voice was almost a whisper. ‘Just keep looking at me. So can you…’ Gently, he moved his hands to my thighs so that my legs slid around his hips, shifting us even closer. ‘And forget about…that.’ He dismissed his erection. ‘Just look at me and breathe.’

‘Breathe?’

‘At the same time as each other.’

Ooookay. I inhaled, so did he and together, our rib cages expanded. I exhaled, he exhaled and our shoulders dropped. Focusing on my breathing dialled down the discomfort of that unbroken stare.

After a couple of false starts, a rhythm built until we were inhaling and exhaling in perfect synchronicity. The intimacy of matching our bodies in this way was unlike anything I’d ever experienced.

‘Was this in one of the books you read?’ I whispered.

He nodded, still holding my focus.

As our eye contact endured, he went from being Luke, to an unrecognizable stranger, then changed again to a man with whom I shared a deep connection.

It took a while to notice that, keeping time with our breaths, he’d been rocking us gently. A fire had built in me, unexpectedly hot.

This was different.

‘Okay?’ he murmured.

‘Yes.’ My voice was high with surprise. ‘Maybe we could …?’

‘Don’t do anything you don’t want to do,’ he repeated.

‘I think I want to.’

‘Maybe not today.’

‘Yes, today.’

He laughed softly and as he slid into me and our bodies slotted together, his pupils flared. All that eye contact became suddenly too much and my gaze moved sidewards.

‘Come back to me,’ he whispered.

Several seconds passed before I was able to face him again—then there he was.

Over time the speed of our bodies increased and my breaths became shorter. Still I kept my eyes on his and it was intense.

As I began to lose myself, he said, ‘Stay with me.’