Bugz thought again of her cousin Ally. She took her curved knife and sliced into the skin above her bicep. She gasped, grimaced, and shut her eyes tight as she pulled the blade forward. She stopped and dropped the knife. She couldn’t continue. Bugz exhaled slowly through clenched teeth as the searing hurt coursed through her body. She felt tears run down her face. She hated herself so much for doing this. It felt wrong. With blood trickling down her arm, Bugz looked to the sky and shuddered as she exhaled a long, soft cry.

CHAPTER 58

Feng walked up the gravel driveway to Frank and Summer’s house, rubbing his hands nervously. He could feel his stomach somersaulting through his T-shirt. He made his way up the steps, steadying himself against the guardrail. He replayed the speech inside his head again for the millionth time. Just say sorry. No matter what she says, just keep saying sorry. He took a deep breath and reached out to knock. No. Tell her you love her. Like family. You’ve never felt this before and…like family? That’s terrible. Just tell her you love her and that’s it. No, just tell her you’re sorry.

“Feng?” Frank opened the door, looking worried. “What are you doing here? Bugz said we wouldn’t see you too much anymore.”

“That’s why I’m here.” Feng’s voice trembled. “I want to make it right.”

“Listen, I’m sure you can work it out, but right now I need your help. Bugz took off and…it was bad,” Frank said. “I’ve been driving around for hours. I have no idea where she is. I talked to everyone on the Rez. Stormy. Her mom. Nobody’s seen her.” Frank sighed. “Waawaate’s getting worse. I’m really worried.”

“Why?”

Frank’s mouth appeared to sour.

“What did she say?”

“I don’t know,” Frank said. Feng could tell he was trying to stifle tears. “I’m just worried…I don’t want her to be alone.”

“Like self-harm?”

Frank refused to answer.

“I think I know where she is,” Feng said. “I was just there.”

“Okay, let me grab my keys.”

As Frank disappeared inside the doorway, Feng turned and ran. He was at the end of the driveway before Frank could yell after him.

“Wait!”

It was too late. Feng ran straight into the forest behind the houses on the far side of the road. Feng could hear Frank’s tires spinning in the gravel in the distance, but he knew he’d put too much distance between the two of them. Feng felt like it was all up to him now.

The sun set.

CHAPTER 59