Back The Woman in the Photograph
Chapters (65)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for the previous work of
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. 24 April 2018
  6. Part 1: Subject
  7. 15 June 1968
  8. 20 June 1968
  9. July 1968
  10. 2 February 2018
  11. Part 2: Light
  12. 20 November 1970
  13. 20 November 1970
  14. 21 November 1970
  15. November 1970
  16. 19 February 2018
  17. Part 3: Focus
  18. 15 April 1977
  19. 18 April 1977
  20. 15 May 1977
  21. July 1977
  22. 26 February 2018
  23. 8 March 2018
  24. 8 March 2018
  25. Part 4: Distance
  26. 15 May 1979
  27. 15 May 1979
  28. 16 May 1979
  29. June 1979
  30. 29 March 2018
  31. 29 March 2018
  32. 27 March 2018
  33. Part 5: Movement
  34. 18 October 1981
  35. 10 April 2018
  36. 18 October 1981
  37. 10 April 2018
  38. 18 October 1981
  39. 10 April 2018
  40. 18 October 1981
  41. 10 April 2018
  42. 10 April 2018
  43. 18 October 1981
  44. 10 April 2018
  45. October 1981
  46. Part 6: Exposure
  47. July 1984
  48. 5 September 1984
  49. 24 April 2018
  50. 25 April 2018
  51. Part 7: Developing
  52. 26 April 2018
  53. Vee, in the lost place, 1984
  54. 26 April 2018
  55. Epilogue
  56. 5 February 2019
  57. Author’s Note
  58. Acknowledgements
  59. Letter from Author
  60. Stephanie Butland’s Readers’ Club
  61. For your Reading Group
  62. For discussion
  63. Select bibliography
  64. About the author
  65. Also by Stephanie Butland

‘Yes.’ Once she started to live with Leonie, see more of her private self, she saw more of what would normally be hidden. Vee’s married friends back in Essex went to great lengths to keep what they considered unfeminine from their husbands; they hid razors, plucked eyebrows behind locked bathroom doors, talked about keeping romance alive with lace negligees and euphemisms for menstruation. Leonie broke wind at will, left greying bras hanging over the shower curtain, and ate cereal from packets with her hands. She teased Vee for her occasional skirts and the way she left a hairbrush by the mirror in the hall; she never let her forget the time she said she wanted to be ‘presentable’. And, if anything, all of these things made Vee love Leonie more than she had before she moved into her flat, taking the spare bedroom and, later, converting the box room to a darkroom. Vee’s father had been big on privacy, scant on touch, and so living with Leonie was the most physically intimate that Vee had ever been with another human being, before or since. From this distance – and with her punctured memories – she has to wonder whether she was in love.

‘Do you think people still remember the Miss World protest?’ Erica asks, when it’s clear Vee isn’t going to say any more. ‘Or are aware of it, if they weren’t born? It’s so important to get the level of detail right.’

Vee can see, from where Erica has opened another of the folders, just how much Erica has been putting into this exhibition. Well, good. People talk about talent and luck, but as Dad used to say, it’s graft that makes things happen. There’s tightness across the top of Vee’s chest at the thought of what Leonie kept, the skin around old scars flexing. ‘I don’t know. Does it matter? It was about what the protest achieved, as much as anything else.’ Vee thinks of the humming of excitement in her gut for days afterwards, the way the disruption was all over the papers, reported on the news.

‘But,’ Erica says, ‘I think I need to find a way to contextualise that. From this distance, it looks . . . it’s difficult. It was still women attacking women. Not that that’s stopped. But it’s different. The protest looks – brutal.’

It’s so hard to explain what it was like to people who weren’t there, who take so much for granted now. ‘We were working things out, then. We were trying to break the world down to make it again, and this was one of the obvious ways to do it. We saw women in heels and lipstick as . . . as bonded, trapped.’