Back The Woman in the Photograph
Chapters (65)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for the previous work of
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. 24 April 2018
  6. Part 1: Subject
  7. 15 June 1968
  8. 20 June 1968
  9. July 1968
  10. 2 February 2018
  11. Part 2: Light
  12. 20 November 1970
  13. 20 November 1970
  14. 21 November 1970
  15. November 1970
  16. 19 February 2018
  17. Part 3: Focus
  18. 15 April 1977
  19. 18 April 1977
  20. 15 May 1977
  21. July 1977
  22. 26 February 2018
  23. 8 March 2018
  24. 8 March 2018
  25. Part 4: Distance
  26. 15 May 1979
  27. 15 May 1979
  28. 16 May 1979
  29. June 1979
  30. 29 March 2018
  31. 29 March 2018
  32. 27 March 2018
  33. Part 5: Movement
  34. 18 October 1981
  35. 10 April 2018
  36. 18 October 1981
  37. 10 April 2018
  38. 18 October 1981
  39. 10 April 2018
  40. 18 October 1981
  41. 10 April 2018
  42. 10 April 2018
  43. 18 October 1981
  44. 10 April 2018
  45. October 1981
  46. Part 6: Exposure
  47. July 1984
  48. 5 September 1984
  49. 24 April 2018
  50. 25 April 2018
  51. Part 7: Developing
  52. 26 April 2018
  53. Vee, in the lost place, 1984
  54. 26 April 2018
  55. Epilogue
  56. 5 February 2019
  57. Author’s Note
  58. Acknowledgements
  59. Letter from Author
  60. Stephanie Butland’s Readers’ Club
  61. For your Reading Group
  62. For discussion
  63. Select bibliography
  64. About the author
  65. Also by Stephanie Butland

Leonie feels around in her pockets, pulls out a tin and starts to roll a cigarette. She, Bea and Fen had been smoking Bea’s Benson & Hedges before. Vee had declined. She has tried smoking, with some of the typists from work who gather around their pooled copies of Marie Claire and My Weekly at lunchtimes: she just doesn’t like it. It makes the inside of her mouth hot, unpleasantly tingly. She can say the same thing about kissing women now. Maybe. Though everything, the first time, is more strange than anything else. ‘What do you think about that?’ Leonie asks.

Vee says, ‘I don’t know. I think we should wait a bit longer. He says I can keep working, and all that. At least until we have a baby. But he says we don’t need to do that straightaway.’

‘Does he? That’s good of him.’

Vee knows that Leonie is being sarcastic, and she can see that, for a lot of women, that sort of situation would be sad; they would be wasting their capabilities. But Leonie doesn’t know Barry. Barry’s mother has never worked, and she’s always making digs about Vee’s ‘little job’, like it’s a joke. But Barry takes Vee seriously. ‘He wants me to have a career. He thinks it should be normal for women to have serious jobs, not just work for pin money.’

Leonie takes a drag on her cigarette. ‘What do you want? Surely that’s the question.’

‘Me?’ Before she got here, Vee had been thinking that she has all that she wants, really. Her job isn’t perfect, but she can learn, and even if she is going to have to work her way up and earn respect, she’ll get there. She has enough money coming in, and Dad’s happy, and Barry’s happy. But sitting here, in a pub where the same people have been sitting on the same barstools for what looks like fifty years, and where close by, women in short dresses are shouting for their rights, like they really believe they deserve it, she’s no longer sure that what she has is happiness. If you see a wrong, right it, her dad says when he picks up other people’s litter from the pavement outside their gate.

‘Yes, you. There’s no one else here that I’m talking to, honey.’

‘I want . . .’ Vee senses that only her most audacious dreaming will be good enough for Leonie. ‘I want to take photographs that mean something to people.’

No, that’s not it. All photographs mean something to someone. Her first efforts, blurred line-ups of family and a shaky shot of a birthday cake, are terrible attempts at capturing moments, but that didn’t stop Dad from sticking them in an album.

She tries again.