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Back The Underminer Save as PDF
Chapters (21)
  1. Cover Page
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. Table of Contents
  5. Bright Young Things campus of Clarkwell College, graduation in the town of Clarksville, somewhere upstate, 1990
  6. Cool Days open mike night at Kafka-fe, after band "2 Much" plays, 1991
  7. New on the Scene utside in front of Club Hush, for a film screening party of Kill Fee, 1993 o
  8. Single in the City at a French bistro, 1995
  9. Hangover brunch, the morning after, 1995
  10. Natural Health a chance meeting at Jasper’s Yoga Studio, 1996
  11. The Fat Flush ’90s in the foyer of a friend’s renovated brownstone, 1997
  12. Art Stars at Bonwyck Gallery, 1998
  13. Inner Odyssey the Burning Man festival in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert, 1999
  14. Life After Death facedown in the dirt of the desert, next morning, 1999
  15. Loyal Companions catching up at the dog run, 2000 catching up at the dog run, 2000
  16. In the Real World a run-in at the ShopShape magazine launch party sponsored by Senor Strawberry Liqueur, early 2001
  17. Wartime spotted at Kinko's, late 2001
  18. Office Job in the cafeteria of the Conde Nast building, 2003
  19. Settling a yard sale on an obscure block in the outer borough, 2003
  20. Starting Over in a remote village tavern on the farmlands of New Zealand, 2004
  21. Epilogue a gathering of friends

I know. But you said that. I was just telling the truth. Come on. But you said—

Well anyway, I'm meeting up with her later if you want to join. What are you doing later? Oh yeah. I guess you have to clean up. Send steamed water through the cappuccino machines and wipe out the coffee thermoses and stuff. Wow I totally remember having to do that for my job after high school! It was better since I did it in Rome, but still. Funny how it comes back. I should totally write something about being a barista—the torture of it, the annoying caffeine-addicted customers asking for "half-caf double caf mochacchinos," ha ha! Now there's a good name for a band: the Baristas! Ha!

Oh my God that is the perfect name I need for this script I am working on for The Simpsons (yeah, I'm still there!) where Homer joins a totally typical "grunge" band! The Baristas is perfect!

Yeah, I'm still at The Simpsons. Pretty much paying my way. Yeah, I'm just freelancing as a producer now. It's just when they need me, though. I needed some time to work on my own stuff, and the executive producer said, "Hey, no problem, let's just give you the space you need," and so I'm just freelance now.

Me? Greta and I are going to Crish Crash, probably. Crish Crash? You know, the huge huge rave happening tonight. It's probably why there wasn't a crowd here—like everyone in the city under twenty-five is going. Tyler is meeting me. He is scouting for more models for his photo series. It's so great how Tyler has the confidence he needs to experiment and be free as an artist. I know you sort of have contempt for institutions, but RISD was good to him.

No I mean you said that once. Like when you didn't get in. Whatever.

They love his theories about how his mundane life is art and his off-center pictures of his messy bathroom and dirty dishes are kind of "anti-compositions." Actually a few galleries are interested, including Bonwyck! He's been taking photos of me and a bunch of us just sitting around in unmade beds, listening to CDs, cutting our toenails. Crish Crash. You didn't hear about it? Weird. Yeah, you kind of have to know how to find it. And sort of know the right way to ask. Wait. Here's the address. If someone stops you at the door just act like you know someone—that's what a lot of people who show up uninvited do.

Maybe I'll see you there.

1114115844

New on the Scene utside in front of Club Hush, for a film screening party of Kill Fee, 1993 o

New on the Scene

outside in front of Club Hush, for a film screening party of Kill Fee, 1993

Excuse me? I'm sorry, but this is a private party and—