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Back The Underminer Save as PDF
Chapters (21)
  1. Cover Page
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. Table of Contents
  5. Bright Young Things campus of Clarkwell College, graduation in the town of Clarksville, somewhere upstate, 1990
  6. Cool Days open mike night at Kafka-fe, after band "2 Much" plays, 1991
  7. New on the Scene utside in front of Club Hush, for a film screening party of Kill Fee, 1993 o
  8. Single in the City at a French bistro, 1995
  9. Hangover brunch, the morning after, 1995
  10. Natural Health a chance meeting at Jasper’s Yoga Studio, 1996
  11. The Fat Flush ’90s in the foyer of a friend’s renovated brownstone, 1997
  12. Art Stars at Bonwyck Gallery, 1998
  13. Inner Odyssey the Burning Man festival in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert, 1999
  14. Life After Death facedown in the dirt of the desert, next morning, 1999
  15. Loyal Companions catching up at the dog run, 2000 catching up at the dog run, 2000
  16. In the Real World a run-in at the ShopShape magazine launch party sponsored by Senor Strawberry Liqueur, early 2001
  17. Wartime spotted at Kinko's, late 2001
  18. Office Job in the cafeteria of the Conde Nast building, 2003
  19. Settling a yard sale on an obscure block in the outer borough, 2003
  20. Starting Over in a remote village tavern on the farmlands of New Zealand, 2004
  21. Epilogue a gathering of friends

Oh sweetie, you're raving. I told you it would be an intense trip. Shh. You'll wake up half the camp. Just relax. Just be in reality, clarity. I'm not saying anything about any weird evil dust. No you aren't lost in some cloud. Satanic television snow? There is no void swallowing you. What does that mean? What are you talking about? You're raving. You're so funny, little crazy one. Shh, shh. The worst of it is over. Well, almost.

Oh wow that is a big bruise! Jeez did you fall on your ass that hard?

Oh. That's your Kermit the Frog tattoo. I guess it's gotten a little blurry and stretched out as you've gotten older.

Oooh. Yeah. You feel crampy, huh? Yeah, it's the toxins trying to release from your body. Those mushrooms from the Caterpillar tent, mixed with the harsh chemicals of Askalar basically turn into a big box of Ex-Lax after eight hours. Yeah, you'll be shittin' like there's no tomorrow in a sec. I just need to make sure you don't expel blood or your liver or whatever. The convulsions can get pretty strong. But the open air is good for your system, which is about to experience some serious uncontrollable digestive seizures.

Talitha? It's time. Gather everyone for the healing circle.

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Loyal Companions catching up at the dog run, 2000 catching up at the dog run, 2000

Loyal Companions

catching up at the dog run, 2000

Breaker! Breaker! Here, boy! Aw good dog Breaker! You are the best dog in the world. Yes you are! Yes you are!

Hi! Oh my God, someone was just talking about you! You look so sporty! Did get your hair straightened or just not wash it for a while?

Aw, and look there's little Checkers! Wow. How is Checkers?

Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. But yeah, I can tell. He seems so low-energy. Like his little dog soul is tired, ready to pass on into dog heaven. It's just a matter of time, you know, since you got Checkers at that pet shop, which was so gracious of you, to take in an animal that is sure to be stunted and a little disadvantaged because basically the pet shop industry is another form of animal cruelty. Dog diseases can be so cruel.

Breeding is just so important. It just gives dogs the life skills they need to survive and handle stress. There are dogs that somehow have the training in their blood to react to life like warriors, like hunters. And then there are dogs who may have never been designed to survive. Who, if the world were more natural, would be slaughtered in the wild like wildebeests. Victim dogs.