Um, can I just offer one bit of constructive criticism for your band? I think you really should update your clothes. I mean the pegged jeans thing and your hair is cool, but maybe it's time for you to start dressing, more, like, adult. More timeless. For instance, if anything, you gotta stop wearing like those rubber bands around your wrist. I know you think it's cool and sort of "punk" but why not just invest in a couple good pieces of jewelry, you know? You will be so much more respected by the Powers That Be. You know, some nice clean trousers and new, clean shirts. A few good elements to add to your sort of scrubby look. Just spiff it up a bit!

Oh my God, you'll appreciate this. I was hanging out in this club, on just some obscure night like a Tuesday and this strangely strong woman with steely eyes wearing a torn vintage dress named Courtney played. She did a whole long unannounced set of music from this weird new album coming out and then afterward I met her and we just kind of clicked. Oh you've heard of her? She's big? Oh I am so out of the loop. Then after the club at five in the morning, me, Court, and her boyfriend, Kurt, went and got matching tattoos. Little stars behind our ears. They were such a wild couple. So fun to be around . . . but Kurt was kind of sullen. So pure, though. Such an artist. Not trying so hard like so many people desperate for attention in the music biz these days.

To be honest I wanted to follow through this time on a group tattoo because of what happened to you and me with the whole Kermit the Frog on a jet ski tattoo thing in Daytona our sophomore year? I know I have told you this before, but I really truly did want to get the tattoo—but after I saw your butt cheek I just realized I couldn't do that to my body. I'm just such a lightweight when it comes to needles. I know you were drunk so it didn't hurt, and that makes me feel better about it.

Anyway, this time it was more discreet and Court and Kurt were both beside me, holding my hand through the pain. Really grounding. Like a family.

Did Greta come by? No? She said she was going to try to make the effort since, you know, you have been sort of caught up doing your thing. I guess someone just told her about your little indie rock band. I wonder who told her.

You guys should just try to reconnect I think.

No, of course it's her that has been standoffish. I didn't mean it that way. But she was making the effort to see you and you know how hard that is for her. Especially since she knows that you think she's narcissistic and everything.