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Back The Underminer Save as PDF
Chapters (21)
  1. Cover Page
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. Table of Contents
  5. Bright Young Things campus of Clarkwell College, graduation in the town of Clarksville, somewhere upstate, 1990
  6. Cool Days open mike night at Kafka-fe, after band "2 Much" plays, 1991
  7. New on the Scene utside in front of Club Hush, for a film screening party of Kill Fee, 1993 o
  8. Single in the City at a French bistro, 1995
  9. Hangover brunch, the morning after, 1995
  10. Natural Health a chance meeting at Jasper’s Yoga Studio, 1996
  11. The Fat Flush ’90s in the foyer of a friend’s renovated brownstone, 1997
  12. Art Stars at Bonwyck Gallery, 1998
  13. Inner Odyssey the Burning Man festival in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert, 1999
  14. Life After Death facedown in the dirt of the desert, next morning, 1999
  15. Loyal Companions catching up at the dog run, 2000 catching up at the dog run, 2000
  16. In the Real World a run-in at the ShopShape magazine launch party sponsored by Senor Strawberry Liqueur, early 2001
  17. Wartime spotted at Kinko's, late 2001
  18. Office Job in the cafeteria of the Conde Nast building, 2003
  19. Settling a yard sale on an obscure block in the outer borough, 2003
  20. Starting Over in a remote village tavern on the farmlands of New Zealand, 2004
  21. Epilogue a gathering of friends

Oh. It looks like they're opening the party to the general public. You could check it out! It'll be crowded but you know, you may as well just check out the whole deal.

Why are you shivering? God I hope you're not coming down with that terrible flu before your trip. Here, take my scarf. No, it's OK. You can give it back to me later. I think it looks good on you anyway. It just cleans up your style. And you know how I am always badgering you to stop wearing those funny pants and ironic clothes. It's more grown up.

Listen I have to go and get to bed, but you take care of yourself, OK? Maybe you shouldn't go in. Save your energy for your trip. Sleep is a good way to ward off those ruthless parasites. Don't go slutting around all night. Go home and take care of yourself. I worry about you, you crazy thing.

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Single in the City at a French bistro, 1995

Single in the City

at a French bistro, 1995

You're here early! Oh my God, do you have my scarf? Did you bring it?

Oh. FUCK. That's . . . OK. No. All right. That's OK.

No, it's just that I got it in India when I went there and it's just like this really beautiful thing and I really treasure it. It's just really important to me. It's not like that cheaply made Barneys Co-op stuff you buy. I don't mean YOU buy, I mean "you buy." Aw, I wish you had remembered. No, no, that's OK. You're so flaky sometimes!

Wait. Are you sick? You look sort of tired. Is there something wrong? Oh, you went out drinking last night? It's so great how you can still do those college things. You're so crazy!

Did you throw up? No, no, I just smelled throw-up for a second.

So, I have some huge news. I didn't want you to hear it from someone else, but guess what? I just made two million dollars from my book deal. Yeah, yeah. So, I'm pretty happy about it; my agent's pretty happy about it. Sheila's really happy about it because she is engaged to my agent! Ha!

It's just really lucky because you know how the economy is totally booming right now but experts are saying it won't last forever, and that you really only have this small window of time to make money or else you will be poor forever. So, it's like I made my money before the downfall, and I'll be able to live comfortably? It's kind of just "locked in." It's weird for once just to feel calm and comfortable about your life and retirement, you know what I mean? Well I mean you can kind of know what I mean.