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Back The Underminer
Chapters (21)
  1. Cover Page
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. Table of Contents
  5. Bright Young Things campus of Clarkwell College, graduation in the town of Clarksville, somewhere upstate, 1990
  6. Cool Days open mike night at Kafka-fe, after band "2 Much" plays, 1991
  7. New on the Scene utside in front of Club Hush, for a film screening party of Kill Fee, 1993 o
  8. Single in the City at a French bistro, 1995
  9. Hangover brunch, the morning after, 1995
  10. Natural Health a chance meeting at Jasper’s Yoga Studio, 1996
  11. The Fat Flush ’90s in the foyer of a friend’s renovated brownstone, 1997
  12. Art Stars at Bonwyck Gallery, 1998
  13. Inner Odyssey the Burning Man festival in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert, 1999
  14. Life After Death facedown in the dirt of the desert, next morning, 1999
  15. Loyal Companions catching up at the dog run, 2000 catching up at the dog run, 2000
  16. In the Real World a run-in at the ShopShape magazine launch party sponsored by Senor Strawberry Liqueur, early 2001
  17. Wartime spotted at Kinko's, late 2001
  18. Office Job in the cafeteria of the Conde Nast building, 2003
  19. Settling a yard sale on an obscure block in the outer borough, 2003
  20. Starting Over in a remote village tavern on the farmlands of New Zealand, 2004
  21. Epilogue a gathering of friends

I remember once—it was either before or after you met Carl—you made me hang out after the Take Back the Night March so you wouldn't seem so alone while you waited for the perfect time to cross paths with Professor Spitz when he walked to his Peugeot. And you gave him your sestinas? I remember you showed me that one with the repeated line: "I would roll in a thousand shared needles for you." That's the line I remember. And it's the chorus of that one last song you played just now, the sort of "grunge rock" one—what you are probably thinking is your single, right? Yeah, it's catchy, totally sounds like it would be played on the radio—like K-Rock or Q-103. Because grunge rock is definitely gonna be around for a while!

Oh my God, can I just say—your guitarist is SO HOT. I couldn't stop staring at him! He is so hot and just electric onstage. He is going to go places! Wow he really adds a lot to the band. Charisma, I guess. He is SO HOT. What's his name? Jacob Fountainhead. That's his real name? Really? You think it sounds contrived. No. Actually I think it's beautiful. You should be more positive about something like that. Appreciate the beauty around you, you know?

You know, sorry to interrupt you but I have to tell you your sound kind of reminds me of this other really obscure band, No Doubt? They're from Orange County in California and have a really big following there with skaters and young kids. Their music's sort of the same as yours, but less . . . I don't know . . . sad? But it's weird how similar you guys sound, and how similar your names sound, even. No Doubt. 2 Much. Wow, if one of you makes it the other is pretty much doomed. The music industry is so ruthless, right? But I'm sure something good will happen! I am so glad I got a chance to see you! It was so fun! Really really fun!

Wait. I have an idea. Do you have a demo? I'll be seeing Sheila tomorrow and could slide it to her. I mean you could do it too, since you know her, but maybe it'll seem less desperate if I do it. Oh great you do!

It's on what?

Your demo is on CASSETTE? It's not on CD? I can' believe you even still have a tape player! Hello, it's 1991! No way—you just bought it? Can I ask how much? Ouch, that's major buyer's regret. Tapes are—oh well, I guess you take your chances. Well, let's hold off on giving that to Sheila, until you get it in a modern format. I don't think A&R reps even play anything on tape anymore.