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Back The Underminer
Chapters (21)
  1. Cover Page
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. Table of Contents
  5. Bright Young Things campus of Clarkwell College, graduation in the town of Clarksville, somewhere upstate, 1990
  6. Cool Days open mike night at Kafka-fe, after band "2 Much" plays, 1991
  7. New on the Scene utside in front of Club Hush, for a film screening party of Kill Fee, 1993 o
  8. Single in the City at a French bistro, 1995
  9. Hangover brunch, the morning after, 1995
  10. Natural Health a chance meeting at Jasper’s Yoga Studio, 1996
  11. The Fat Flush ’90s in the foyer of a friend’s renovated brownstone, 1997
  12. Art Stars at Bonwyck Gallery, 1998
  13. Inner Odyssey the Burning Man festival in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert, 1999
  14. Life After Death facedown in the dirt of the desert, next morning, 1999
  15. Loyal Companions catching up at the dog run, 2000 catching up at the dog run, 2000
  16. In the Real World a run-in at the ShopShape magazine launch party sponsored by Senor Strawberry Liqueur, early 2001
  17. Wartime spotted at Kinko's, late 2001
  18. Office Job in the cafeteria of the Conde Nast building, 2003
  19. Settling a yard sale on an obscure block in the outer borough, 2003
  20. Starting Over in a remote village tavern on the farmlands of New Zealand, 2004
  21. Epilogue a gathering of friends

Sheila? Sheila's good, Sheila's good. Even though she's at the top of her class in law school, she still finds time for her crazy ideas. She is busy working on some cockamamie scheme: patenting this idea to put up racks for postcards outside of bathrooms in bars and clubs. It's so dumb and simple. I know! It's so retarded! Well anyway, she is begging me to help out, and she said she will give me "points" in the company if it ever goes anywhere. But I mean it's so dumb it's not gonna go anywhere.

So are you still with Carl from college? That is so sweet that you guys are trying to work things out. Long distance, right? Yeah. Sometimes those actually work! No really! Sometimes they really do! Sometimes! How fun! Really fun!

Are you sure you don't use some of the lyrics from your old poetry? I just remember this one line from when we had class together—it's so stuck in my head because it was the time you were so in love with Frank Spitz, our workshop teacher? Before you sort of flipped out for Sam instead? He was married, you were a student, and he was really moral about it . . . wow were you over the moon about him!

Of course I knew about that! Well, obviously you are over the whole thing because you don't even remember telling me! You told me at the anti-apartheid "Divest Now!" poetry reading. Me and like twelve others. You were pretty wasted. All that cheap white wine! You were so flushed with feeling for Professor Spitz. It was so screwed up. Not to like lessen your experience but I've heard that he is totally going out with a student now. Not like you and him where it was all flirtation and in your head. They are actually fucking and he's still married. To someone younger than us who is apparently totally gorgeous.

Oh! You know who it is? It's that stupid girl we used to see in Wollman Hall. The mopey one who kind of looks like you and Kate Moss's lovechild? Ugh—so obvious of Professor Spitz to go for the model. He's so Mr.-Affair-with-a-Student. Well, screw him! What a jerk. You know, it's probably good he wasn't into you. Everyone needs to go through that first broken heart experience, right? At least you landed Carl, huh?