Brett leaps to his feet. “Whooh, whooh, whooh,” he exhales, springing up and down on his toes like a boxer. He cracks his neck left then right. He whips off his jacket and throws it on the couch. Then, resuming his position at my bedside, he takes both my hands in his.

“I swear to you, baby, if I were gay that would be it, case closed,” he whispers, “but the thing with Kelly, see he was my drama teacher, and you know how vulnerable you get when you’re acting. That’s how it began, anyway. And I swear to you, this is the God’s honest truth, I never felt good with the sex part. It was just oral and always him wanting to do that to me. That’s why I always felt kind of funny about that particular thing with us or about all that kinky stuff you like; it’s all kind of tangled up in my mind with Kelly. That surfaced in my last session. Lenny, Dr. Markowitz, says what I wanted was to be physically touched lovingly by a male because my pop never not once in my G.D. life gave me hugs or told me he loved me.”

Brett stands and begins pacing. “He hit that rusty nail right on the head cause sweetheart when he said that, I just broke down and cried. Jackie. Do you know, twice when I was just a little squirt, my daddy hit my mom right in front of me and there was nothing I could do about it. Nothing! Oh, baby, I have all this anger I didn’t even know about. Been smoking a pack a day. I’d like to wring my daddy’s fat, red neck. I’ve been going to the gym nights after work just to get all this anger O-U-T. Too bad I’m doing a comedy, huh?”

He places both hands on the foot of my bed and leans down. “And baby, I was wrong about Reiner. I was a jealous ass and, God honey, I don’t know how you put up with me. I am so sorry. If I could go back, I would tell you to take the picture, Jackie Gold! You would have been amazing. Way better than the gal they hired.”

Brett comes back to the chair and sits. “Anyway, one thing for sure,” he drops his voice, “I can’t be in love with a man. I’m just not wired that way. I had a whole buncha’ girlfriends before Kelly and one or two after, but then I met you, and I never felt for any of them what I felt for you. What I feel. Not ever.” He grasps my hand, slides to his knees on the floor, and rests his chin on the bed. “I love you, honey,” he sobs. “I love you. Jackie? Can you hear me, honey? Are you there?”