Nicole started to say something then stopped. Her eyes filled, and for a second, I thought maybe I should back down. But then a rush of adrenaline lifted me from my chair. “You know what? Fuck you, Nicole.” I gathered up my towel and sunscreen, slammed back the rest of my drink, and strode off.

“Jackie, wait!” she called after me.

I lifted my middle finger and kept walking.

“Watch it, baby.” In the pool, an overly muscled blonde pushed his lover’s head under the water and giggled. Was he talking to me or his boyfriend? Several of the men on deck chairs sat up as I passed and leaned together to whisper. I glared at them, daring anyone to say anything. One glanced at me briefly then went back to squeezing lemons in his lover’s hair.

INT. SUNSET GOWER STUDIOS

CIRCLE OF LIFE SOUNDSTAGE

MORNING

1988

Lyle Tracy slid into the mock airplane seat next to me and buckled his seat belt. He then reached over and brushed peanut salt off my chin.

“Check your teeth,” he said and opened his newspaper to a crossword he was working on.

Lyle had been on Circle of Life since its inception twenty-five years ago as the character of Ben Strong, the suave, irresistibly handsome president of Strong Industries.

When Anna was my nanny, we were madly in love with him; swooning over his every word as we sat in the kitchen—Anna drying dishes and practicing her English, repeating everything he said with her heavy accent, me with my homework and snack. We couldn’t have imagined then that I would one day be on Circle of Life as Ben Strong’s stepdaughter.

I shoved a few cocktail peanuts into my mouth while we waited for the crew to finish lighting. It was my first day of work and I was trying to appear cool and confident despite my pounding head and the sweat pooling under my arms. I held them out to avoid staining my wardrobe.

The night before, I’d gone to a party and despite my best intentions ended up doing coke and drinking too much. I’d staggered home at five a.m. and managed to take a shower before calling a cab to drive me down Sunset to the studio. Now I was hungover and guilty and terrified about remembering my lines. Well just one line, but I was nervous. I’m scared, can you hold me, please?

I examined the compartment where the oxygen masks were set to drop and checked that my seat belt was fastened. There was a tremendous amount of work involved in shooting the plane crash; props and pieces set to break apart, windows designed to shatter. We had been warned several times that there could be no mistakes; to reset from the top would take hours.