“God, Jax, you were beautiful.” She encircles my slack body and rocks me from side to side. After a few minutes, she lets go, sighs, and lays her cheek on my pillow like a spent lover.

“Excuse me, time’s up now.” Emme peeks her head in, her sweet voice a dulcimer, a dove. She shuts the door, but her shadow remains in the porthole. The promise of comfort and a warm blanket. It can’t come soon enough.

Nicole pushes herself off my bed, takes several deep breaths and shakes out her hands, flicking her fingers as if casting off bad energy. I still feel the weight of her while she appears lighter, unburdened.

Fishing a ribbon of mashed tissues from her bag, she wipes around her eyes and nose, takes out lipstick and mirror, and reapplies her makeup. She walks to the window. “Your fans are out there, Jackie, at least two hundred. Press, too. Not just the paparazzi. I made sure of that.” She says as if proving her worth even now.

I think back to that day she arrived at my door, tattered and homeless, lost and alone. But I was far more lost and lonely. Her misfortune was my manna from heaven. My golden opportunity so I wouldn’t be alone. I moved her in. I made her over. I sent her to therapy and made her my publicist. Not only for her, but for me. So she would always need me.

It wasn’t the monster what done the crime, it was Doctor Frankenstein.

Emme enters quietly and lightly taps Nicole’s shoulder. “It’s time.”

Nicole nods somberly, tucks in her blouse, retrieves her jacket then bends down and whispers in my ear. “Goodbye, Jackie. I love you forever.”

Till death do us part.

Can I forgive her?

Can I forgive me?

Emme closes the door. In her arms are a pile of fresh linens and a gown still warm from the dryer. Clucking her tongue, my angel takes the plastic basin from my bed table, fills it with water, and goes about the task of disinfecting me, removing all traces of Nicole’s lipstick and black tears.

SLOW DISSOLVE TO:

INT. SPAGO RESTAURANT

LUNCHTIME

Penny got a tip. Star magazine was breaking a big story with “never before seen photographs” of me. Nicole had managed to procure an edition one day before it hit the stands. The three of us scheduled an emergency lunch at Spago.

I’d been shooting nights on First Degree and with little sleep, I was fragile and exhausted. The atmosphere on the set had been tense and the studio’s business affairs department called an emergency meeting with the producers, fueling rumors that we were already over budget. I’d yet to shoot my big courtroom scene with Verona.

The lunchtime crowd hadn’t arrived yet. As Penny, Nicole, and I waited for our smoked salmon pizza, we huddled over the copy of the Star.