I was in love. Madly, desperately, hopelessly in love. I couldn’t eat, barely slept, and yet I felt pumped with energy. Ten pounds melted from my body. My jeans hung loose, my arms were twiggy, my cheekbones angular. Penny hired a publicist to field the interview requests that were coming in for me, mostly teen magazines and soap journals. They asked the same question: “What is your beauty regimen?” What could I tell them? I was having sex day and night with the most adorable, incredible guy in the world.

Our conversations were endless and fascinating. We wrote poems for each other about each other, we made cassettes of songs we had loved as individuals that had to be shared. I could no longer imagine a time or a world without Peter and knew with all certainty that we were destined to spend our lives together.

Peter Hamlet had grown up on television. He had begun his run on Circle when he was only eight years old, already a veteran of two other soaps. He’d had his first kiss ever in front of millions when he was fourteen, and a few weeks later, in the privacy of his dressing room, lost his virginity to the actress who played his mother.

We had started dating my second week on the show. In the storyline, Amber and her stepfather, Ben Strong, survived the plane crash but were marooned on a deserted island. Just when it seemed like they wouldn’t last another day, a rescue boat pulled ashore carrying Storm Strong (Peter), Ben’s adopted son from several marriages prior. And though they are technically half-brother and sister, Storm and Amber fall in love.

“Christ, you two—get a room,” Lyle would grumble whenever Peter and I were together. Now after three months, we still couldn’t keep our hands off each other. We kissed during makeup, during lunch, between takes. More importantly for the show, our chemistry paid off in big numbers. Ratings for Circle had gone up ten percent in the months since Storm and Amber’s romance began. Moira was giddy.

“My discovery,” was how she introduced me. And my work was getting better; I started to feel comfortable in front of the camera. I had quit partying and was down to a daily half-a-Valium, more for security than necessity. Daddy was thrilled that I was supporting myself. Anna was ecstatic because I was on her favorite soap. And I was deliriously floating through it all.

There was just one problem. Nicole hated Peter.

“He’s not up to your standards, Jax.”

I couldn’t imagine what standards she meant. Until now, I’d only dated dope-fiends and losers. No one came close to being as talented or handsome or successful as Peter.

“It’s not that I don’t like him,” Nicole would protest. “I’m just protective of you.”