“Not at all. That was the best show of my life.”

“Well, that’s fucking depressing,” he jokes. At least I think he’s joking.

“Thank you so much, Orion. That was everything.”

“I think it’s nothing compared to what’s going to happen next.”

“What’s that?”

“You putting on a show.”

“I think it might be too dangerous for me to swing around the train.”

“Nah, I’m not asking you to do all that. I want you to walk your first runway.”

Orion’s grin is so mischievous. He’s the king of making memorable moments.

I turn to the clear aisle, able to easily imagine it as a stage. Instead of chairs, there are train benches with an audience to watch me. There’s no way I’m passing up this incredible opportunity. “Let’s do it,” I say.

Orion shakes my shoulders in excitement. “This is going to be epic! Okay, so they are a tough crowd, but I can hype this up as a one-time event. You game with being introduced as a Decker, maybe even as the first Decker? I want you to get all the love you deserve.”

Even if no one else pays attention, I think I’d be happy with Orion watching me walk the train. “Whatever you think is best.”

He hands me his phone. “Pick your song.”

I wanted to know what music Orion is into, and now I’m getting the chance. There’s such a range, between Linkin Park and Alicia Keys and Evanescence and Death Cab for Cutie and Carlos Santana and Celine Dion and Eve and the Pussycat Dolls. There’s so many songs by women, and it gets me thinking about my personal playlist of songs I’d listen to whenever I had the house to myself. I never really felt comfortable listening to pop music around my parents, especially if the artist was a woman. That’s how it was before and after coming out. If they were home and I wanted to listen to my favorite songs that they would disapprove of, I’d have to listen to them discreetly on my iPod; it felt like hiding my porn habits all over again. But now my parents aren’t around and I’m not stuck in my bedroom. I’m free to listen to whatever I want by whoever I want whenever I want.

There’s a song in Orion’s playlist that was also on mine: “Release Me” by Agnes. It feels appropriate.

“Attention, attention!” Orion shouts. He hops up on an empty train bench, his arm outstretched like he’s sailing on the deck of his ship—my ship. He’s been an incredible co-captain, like I thought he could be.