Back The First to Die at the End Save as PDF
Chapters (128)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. PART ONE
  5. Orion Pagan
  6. Valentino Prince
  7. Orion
  8. Valentino
  9. Orion
  10. Valentino
  11. Orion
  12. Valentino
  13. Orion
  14. PART TWO
  15. Joaquin Rosa
  16. Orion
  17. Valentino
  18. Orion
  19. Joaquin Rosa
  20. Valentino
  21. Joaquin Rosa
  22. Valentino
  23. Orion
  24. Joaquin Rosa
  25. Rolando Rubio
  26. Andrea Donahue
  27. Valentino
  28. Orion
  29. Valentino
  30. Orion
  31. Valentino
  32. Orion
  33. Valentino
  34. Orion
  35. Valentino
  36. Joaquin Rosa
  37. PART THREE
  38. William Wilde
  39. Joaquin Rosa
  40. Valentino
  41. Orion
  42. Frankie Dario
  43. Valentino
  44. Frankie Dario
  45. Orion
  46. Valentino
  47. Scarlett Prince
  48. Captain Harry E. Pearson
  49. Scarlett Prince
  50. Orion
  51. Scarlett Prince
  52. Naya Rosa
  53. Joaquin Rosa
  54. Naya Rosa
  55. Frankie Dario
  56. Gloria Dario
  57. Naya Rosa
  58. Rolando Rubio
  59. Dalma Young
  60. Valentino
  61. Rolando Rubio
  62. Frankie Dario
  63. Valentino
  64. Scarlett Prince
  65. Valentino
  66. Orion
  67. Valentino
  68. Naya Rosa
  69. Valentino
  70. Férnan Emeterio
  71. Orion
  72. Rolando Rubio
  73. Valentino
  74. Captain Harry E. Pearson
  75. Orion
  76. Clint Suarez
  77. Gloria Dario
  78. Orion
  79. Scarlett Prince
  80. Valentino
  81. Gloria Dario
  82. Orion
  83. Valentino
  84. Joaquin Rosa
  85. Orion
  86. Joaquin Rosa
  87. Valentino
  88. Scarlett Prince
  89. Orion
  90. Valentino
  91. Gloria Dario
  92. Rufus Emeterio
  93. Mateo Torrez Jr.
  94. Orion
  95. Valentino
  96. Orion
  97. Valentino
  98. PART FOUR
  99. Orion
  100. Frankie Dario
  101. Valentino
  102. Orion
  103. Gloria Dario
  104. Valentino
  105. Frankie Dario
  106. Valentino
  107. Paz Dario
  108. Frankie Dario
  109. Dalma Young
  110. Orion
  111. Dalma Young
  112. Gloria Dario
  113. Orion
  114. PART FIVE
  115. Orion
  116. Dalma Young
  117. Scarlett Prince
  118. Gloria Dario
  119. Orion
  120. Dalma Young
  121. Orion
  122. Joaquin Rosa
  123. Orion
  124. Acknowledgments
  125. About the Author
  126. Books by Adam Silvera
  127. Back Ad
  128. About the Publisher

Wherever Orion is taking me, it’s also downtown and only a few minutes away from the street corner where Scarlett called with the best news. The best news given my situation, that is. It’s dawning on me that even if I reach out to my parents this second, it would be pretty impossible for them to see me in person one last time. Should I feel guilty? Do they deserve that chance? What do I owe them as the son they raised? Then before I can voice any of these feelings, I remember Orion’s wisdom from last night. I’ll speak to my parents if I have something to gain. But I owe myself peace more than I owe them anything.

Today is beginning to feel like I’m doing years of growing up within hours.

“Earth to Valentino,” Orion shouts. “I love your little lost-in-thought moment but I kind of have to blindfold you quickly.”

“Why?”

“So you can’t out my organ harvesters, duh.”

“Cool. Just wanted to know.”

Orion removes his hoodie—technically, my hoodie—and wraps it around my head. His smile is the last thing I see before the sleeves are tied around my eyes. The hoodie is snug around my face, and the darkness is more peaceful than I’d imagine. A shiver runs up my spine when Orion holds both of my hands. This alone could be the surprise, and I’d love it. He starts leading me to our destination, and I’m walking awkwardly like that time I put on my mother’s high heels as a kid, nervous I’m going to fall and snap an ankle.

“Trust me,” Orion says.

“I do.”

“We’re about to enter a train station, but the sign spoils everything.”

“Hence the blindfold.”

“We have to be really careful going down the stairs. We’ll take our time, okay?”

“Okay.”

At the top of the staircase, Orion places one of my hands on the railing and keeps holding the other. He guides me, step by step, though the first few are the most nerve-racking. My calves are tingling, and it takes a bit before my feet find the rhythm, like we’re dancing. The overall experience feels like a roller coaster where you begin with regret and doubt and then you release all that and enjoy yourself. I let out a deep sigh when we reach the landing, but it turns out that’s not the only set of stairs. Orion doesn’t let my hand go as he reaches into my pocket for my MetroCard and swipes me in, then doing the same with his own.

“Can I take off the hoodie now?”

“Nope. There’s still signage everywhere.”

He leads me down the next set of stairs, and I grip his hand, increasingly nervous that this is all going too well and my desire to be surprised is going to get him hurt and me killed.