Back The First to Die at the End Save as PDF
Chapters (128)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. PART ONE
  5. Orion Pagan
  6. Valentino Prince
  7. Orion
  8. Valentino
  9. Orion
  10. Valentino
  11. Orion
  12. Valentino
  13. Orion
  14. PART TWO
  15. Joaquin Rosa
  16. Orion
  17. Valentino
  18. Orion
  19. Joaquin Rosa
  20. Valentino
  21. Joaquin Rosa
  22. Valentino
  23. Orion
  24. Joaquin Rosa
  25. Rolando Rubio
  26. Andrea Donahue
  27. Valentino
  28. Orion
  29. Valentino
  30. Orion
  31. Valentino
  32. Orion
  33. Valentino
  34. Orion
  35. Valentino
  36. Joaquin Rosa
  37. PART THREE
  38. William Wilde
  39. Joaquin Rosa
  40. Valentino
  41. Orion
  42. Frankie Dario
  43. Valentino
  44. Frankie Dario
  45. Orion
  46. Valentino
  47. Scarlett Prince
  48. Captain Harry E. Pearson
  49. Scarlett Prince
  50. Orion
  51. Scarlett Prince
  52. Naya Rosa
  53. Joaquin Rosa
  54. Naya Rosa
  55. Frankie Dario
  56. Gloria Dario
  57. Naya Rosa
  58. Rolando Rubio
  59. Dalma Young
  60. Valentino
  61. Rolando Rubio
  62. Frankie Dario
  63. Valentino
  64. Scarlett Prince
  65. Valentino
  66. Orion
  67. Valentino
  68. Naya Rosa
  69. Valentino
  70. Férnan Emeterio
  71. Orion
  72. Rolando Rubio
  73. Valentino
  74. Captain Harry E. Pearson
  75. Orion
  76. Clint Suarez
  77. Gloria Dario
  78. Orion
  79. Scarlett Prince
  80. Valentino
  81. Gloria Dario
  82. Orion
  83. Valentino
  84. Joaquin Rosa
  85. Orion
  86. Joaquin Rosa
  87. Valentino
  88. Scarlett Prince
  89. Orion
  90. Valentino
  91. Gloria Dario
  92. Rufus Emeterio
  93. Mateo Torrez Jr.
  94. Orion
  95. Valentino
  96. Orion
  97. Valentino
  98. PART FOUR
  99. Orion
  100. Frankie Dario
  101. Valentino
  102. Orion
  103. Gloria Dario
  104. Valentino
  105. Frankie Dario
  106. Valentino
  107. Paz Dario
  108. Frankie Dario
  109. Dalma Young
  110. Orion
  111. Dalma Young
  112. Gloria Dario
  113. Orion
  114. PART FIVE
  115. Orion
  116. Dalma Young
  117. Scarlett Prince
  118. Gloria Dario
  119. Orion
  120. Dalma Young
  121. Orion
  122. Joaquin Rosa
  123. Orion
  124. Acknowledgments
  125. About the Author
  126. Books by Adam Silvera
  127. Back Ad
  128. About the Publisher

When Pazito booked his first role as Larkin Cano in the last Scorpius Hawthorne film, she wasn’t worried about her son losing his childhood, since Pazito was only acting in a flashback scene as Howie Maldonado’s young self. Even though Howie plays Scorpius Hawthorne’s bitter rival, he was beyond lovely on set with both her and Pazito, and considering he’s grown up in front of the public eye, it gave Gloria hope that Pazito would be fine as well. Still, there have been a couple opportunities for Pazito to star as a series regular in sitcoms, and though Gloria will never admit it out loud, she was relieved when her son didn’t get the parts, even though it broke her heart to share the news.

Is it so wrong for a mother to want her child to be a child for as long as possible?

Gloria doesn’t want the answer.

She can’t face that question without thinking of the many times she’s failed her son by exposing him to the horrors in their home.

No child should grow up watching their parents fight.

Well, is it even a fight if one parent doesn’t ever hit back?

No, it’s not. That’s an attack.

Gloria keeps it together, not wanting to cry in front of the other adults and children in the waiting room. Whenever she’s away from Frankie, she tries not to think about him. Distance means he can’t harm her. It means she can bury the fear.

The most peace she’s known since being in this relationship is when she traveled to Brazil with Pazito for the Scorpius Hawthorne filming. Everyone was so welcoming. The cast showed Pazito all the rooms in the castle, sets he wouldn’t have stepped foot in since his only scene was in the library. Howie gave Pazito lots of pointers and encouragement and praise. The crew made sure Pazito’s dietary needs were met. And Pazito was surprised when the author of the original series, Poppy Iglesias, a queer trans woman, showed up on his last day of filming with a signed copy of the first book, the very book that Gloria believes has been instrumental in helping Pazito better understand himself, even if he hasn’t come out with those words himself. Watching her son be loved was the peace Gloria gulped down like fresh water, nourishing her soul. She was very tempted to stay in Brazil, but when Pazito kept talking about how he couldn’t wait to show his father the signed book, and all the pictures with his new friends at the castle, Gloria got on that plane with her son, dreading the entire flight home.

The door opens, and Pazito steps out along with a handler who nods at Gloria before accompanying another child into the audition room.

“How do you feel?” Gloria asks.