‘So, let’s consider another option. What if Rowan decides to suggest an open relationship on a permanent basis?’ The question stunned me; I hated her use of that phrase. But I think Gwen spotted my kneejerk panic. She reached out towards my hand but didn’t quite touch me. ‘It’s another hypothetical. Let’s concentrate on the forks that are already there for now. The second fork, then, if you decide you really can’t press pause on the situation, is that you go along with it. What would happen if you put yourself out there a little? If you did what Rowan is doing, even? Would it be the worst thing in the world?’

There were hypotheticals coming at me like teenage boys at a house party and I found I was physically shaking my head at Gwen’s ideas. ‘I’ve put myself out there, believe me. I’ve had dick pics flung at me left and right; I’ve had coffee; I’ve been ghosted by people I haven’t even seen. I …’ I felt a sudden outrage at the men I’d met and not met since the girls started to tart me out online. Then I reached down under my chair and pulled out my backpack, tore Fred’s business card from the front pocket and slammed it on the table between us. Let’s get it all out then, I thought. Gwen leaned forward with a raised eyebrow to inspect it.

‘Okay, tell me about Fred.’

I spoke to the windowpane. ‘Fred’s a woman.’

‘Okay, tell me something else about Fred.’

I explained how I’d met Fred the first time, then the second time in an altogether more compromising position. Gwen asked kind questions about whether I’d felt anything like a spark, whether there were certain thoughts or feelings I couldn’t shake from the encounter – encounters.

‘Is it only since she gave you her card that you’ve been thinking about her?’

‘I mean …’ I thought back. No, I’d thought about her before that, too. ‘Okay, if I’m being completely honest then yes, I thought about her before that. But she was the first person to flirt with me without an avatar and a username, and Christ, I wasn’t even sure she was flirting.’