‘But since you became sure, since this—’ she tapped the card ‘—you’ve thought about her more?’ I nodded. I couldn’t bring myself to admit it out loud – although I didn’t exactly know why. ‘Edi, now, you don’t have to answer this, but this is a safe space; I have to remind you of that. Have you ever had these sorts of thoughts or feelings about a woman before?’ Again, I nodded; again, I couldn’t admit it out loud. But the question sent me catapulting back to the smell of Impulse and the taste of strawberry lip balm. ‘Okay. Well, that’s okay, Edi. Sexuality, despite what some people think, can exist on the same sort of scale as gender. It can move, evolve in the same way our relationships do. Not everyone experiences it, no. Some people feel their sexuality is very much fixed. But some people don’t. And both of those experiences and viewpoints are valid and allowed. There’s nothing wrong with either lived circumstance.’

‘Rowan says he could never be with a man.’

‘Well, that’s Rowan’s narrative.’ She waited for me to look up. ‘What’s yours?’

‘I don’t know what it makes me, if I call her.’ I couldn’t bring myself to look at Gwen. But I knew that I needed to tell someone – and I was paying £90 for the privilege of the back-to-back appointment, so I thought I should at least put my privilege to use. ‘If I call her, do I stop being straight? Do I start being something else? Do I need to have a sit-down with my parents?’

‘Is this something that you’ve considered before?’ I threw her a quizzical look. ‘Your sexuality: exploring it, identifying it?’ The question was enough to make me look away again, but I nodded – a hearty, honest nod. ‘Recently, or, let’s say, in your teenage years?’ I thought the question over; rolled the memories around.

‘I think you can probably take out the or,’ I admitted. ‘It’s more, and.’

‘Hence the confusion you feel over Fred?’

Confusion felt like an understatement. Still, I nodded again. ‘Do I need to start ticking a different box on equality forms? Like, is that the decision I’m really making here?’

Gwen let out a soft laugh. ‘Edi, what are you planning on doing with the girl?’

‘That depends on how the date goes.’ I snorted, and Gwen laughed along with me.

‘That’s more like it.’

‘I’m just worried, and Rowan is—’