‘Maybe. But why don’t we go a little further back than that? Let’s think about the engagement. The proposal. You seemed happy when you thought about it?’

‘I was – am happy about it. We’ve been together for so long and now it’s … I don’t know, it’s an official thing, isn’t it? Something that let’s everyone in the world know that we’re in this forever.’

‘And that’s how you feel, like you’re in this forever?’

The question felt too big for the compact room we were sitting in. I looked out of the window again, as though a blimp might float along with an answer tailing out the back end of it. Lacking that, though, I said, ‘I don’t know anymore.’ I sank back against my chair as the admission tumbled out of me. ‘This is just jitters, I do know that. It’s just, all this – the messing around and the seeing what’s out there, I don’t know, maybe it’s made me worry that Rowan isn’t in this forever?’

Gwen nodded along with my self-analysis. ‘But again, that’s about Rowan; that’s his needs, his wants. What if it turns out you’re not in this forever?’ She still spoke gently.

‘I don’t think that will happen.’

‘No but humour me, what if it does? What if you waltz out of here, straight into some strapping young thing …’ I blinked away a flashback of the curve of Fred’s waist. ‘Dates later and you decide actually this is the person for you. It’s a connection like nothing else you’ve ever known. Would you stay with Rowan, still, just because you’d once thought it was forever?’

‘I don’t … I mean, I can’t know the answer to that.’

Gwen shifted forwards in her seat and leaned over, so her forearms sat on her knees. ‘Edi, relationships change and grow and evolve, all the time. In fact, it’s part of being in a relationship that we allow these changes to happen. Your relationship with Rowan seems to have forked slightly and it’s leaving you, understandably, in a position that you’re not entirely sure how to move forwards from.’

‘What are the forks?’ I asked, even though I felt like I should know.

‘To me, as an outsider at least, the forks seem to be that you might think about sitting Rowan down and explaining to him that maybe, despite the agreements that were made, you’re not altogether comfortable with how this new situation is developing. Another thing to consider, Edi, is that you didn’t set a time limit on this situation, or at least not one that you mentioned?’

‘Three months,’ I answered flatly. ‘But, I don’t know, that’s a long time.’