‘Maybe—’ Molly moved closer ‘—in the same way you want him to be okay, we just want that for you. Some of us express that in different ways.’ She threw a look at Betty then Lily, before turning back to me. ‘But it’s all any of us want, Edi, for you to be okay.’

And in a way that I’d never believed it before when Rowan had said it, I believed Molly – I believed all of them.

Chapter 40

Mum opened the door and pulled me into a hug. The smell of something freshly baked tumbled out from behind her and I thought, She must know. I’d ignored their calls for a couple of days but, when the weekend rolled around, I’d decided I couldn’t put a stopper in the fallout much longer. Mum had answered on the third ring and asked if I could give her an hour to get herself sorted – or rather, get something in the oven. I walked along the hallway behind her, all the while wandering closer to the source of the smell. In the kitchen, there were three plates of cookies on the table. She held a chair out for me, nodded towards them and said, ‘Tuck in.’ But I couldn’t bring myself to. On the journey over I’d started to nurse a ball of nerves somewhere in the bottom of my stomach, nearing my pelvis, and the thought of dropping food on its head only made the nerves flare further.

‘Tea?’ She turned her back on me then, and I took the opportunity for a deep breath. ‘Your father has become bloody obsessed with this gardening project he’s got on the go.’ She clunked about as she spoke: flicked the kettle on; found the matching mugs. I knew her actions by heart. ‘He’s been outside for a good part of the morning. Even the smell didn’t bring him in. I daresay he’s out there with a sodding ruler.’ There was a loud thump then as she slammed a cupboard closed and I laughed. I was here to tell my parents about my ruined engagement; meanwhile, their biggest problem looked to be that they had separate hobbies for once. ‘It’s not that I mind,’ she said, then, as though noting my laugh. ‘Anyway, I’ll get him.’ She banged on the window and whispered – although, I realised, she was probably mouthing it to him – ‘Get in.’

Seconds later the back door opened. ‘Edi, love—’

‘Shoes,’ Mum snapped.

He rolled his eyes and made a show of wiping his feet. ‘May I enter?’ He bowed, in a theatrical gesture. ‘Oh, keeper of the cookies.’

‘Sit down, you silly sod.’ Mum put a cup of tea in front of an empty seat for Dad, then another in front of me. ‘Edi hasn’t come over to hear about your plants so don’t even start.’