‘Yeah, Faith’s wanted to swipe right on you for as long as I’ve known her.’ Lily threw a blueberry in her mouth and winked. ‘Trust me, we’ve talked about it.’

‘She’s not wrong.’ Faith was busy cutting into a poached egg, which meant I couldn’t see her face. And I couldn’t tell from her tone whether she was joking. Something turned over in my stomach, though, and I let the conversation carry on around me.

‘What about this one?’ I eventually said, extending my phone into the centre of the table.

Betty spluttered a laugh. ‘Fuck-boy who I’ve slept with. Left. Next!’

Chapter 19

Gwen was the only person in the world, apart from the parties involved, who knew about Rowan and Skye. I’d found her through a local counselling service and, even when things had started to get better, I’d kept a foot in the door with our sessions. It was the closest I’d ever come to investing both time and money into my mental health and well-being, and it didn’t seem like the right day and age to go giving that up. I called her after I’d seen Rowan with the girl who he told me he didn’t really know that well – ‘Just a friend of Monty’s’ – because of course I asked him about it. Like any woman in a misfunctioning adult relationship, I’d sheepishly sent a text in the early hours of the morning two days after I’d seen them together. He said they’d fooled around – ‘But that’s allowed, right?’ – and that he was sorry I’d found out that way.

Since then, he’d sent four WhatsApp messages asking whether I was okay, called twice and turned up at my front door once. I’d been on my way out – to see Gwen, funnily enough – when I bumped into him on his way to me.

‘I can’t talk, Rowan, I’m really sorry.’

‘Edi, come on. What’s the rush?’ He grabbed me and turned me towards him. He looked truly worried. ‘Look, I’m not so sure this is okay, babe, not really. I feel like … I don’t know, I feel like maybe you’re just going along with this and—’

‘Rowan, I said I can’t talk.’ Then, I said the one thing I knew would answer all his worries – with more worries. ‘I’ve got an appointment with Gwen …’

*

It had been maybe six months since I’d last seen her. The first fifteen minutes of my appointment went to explaining that I was now engaged – and sleeping with other people. ‘Well, not sleeping with other people yet but we’ve both got the option to, if we want to and …’

‘And do you want to?’ she asked gently.