She laughed, but it was a curt noise – like she maybe thought I was being an idiot. ‘Shut up, you did not cheat. It was a single kiss.’ But we both knew that was a lie; it certainly wasn’t one kiss. ‘We kissed and it didn’t mean anything.’ Oh and there’s another fib, I thought, unless it didn’t mean something to you … ‘You don’t have to tell Rowan. You don’t have to tell anyone. Over time it’ll just—’ she made her hand into a flying object ‘—drift away and be forgotten.’

‘I’m not a bad person?’

She stood up. She didn’t ask for a hug, but she held her arms out to offer one and I closed the gap between us. ‘Edith Parcell, you are one of the nicest people I know in the world and you always have been. This doesn’t make you a bad person or girlfriend.’ She moved away and held me at arm’s length. ‘Take comfort in this: if you and Rowan don’t last, this really will never matter.’

‘Do you think we won’t last?’ I hurried the question out in a panic.

‘Hypotheticals, Edi, it’s all hypotheticals. Here’s another for you: if you do last, all the nice things you’ll do—’

‘It won’t make up for it, Faith. Nothing will ever make up for this.’

She hugged me close again. ‘Well, we’ll see. But you’re definitely not a bad person.’

‘And …’ I hesitated. ‘Am I still straight?’

She laughed harder, and I felt the judder of her body go through mine. But she didn’t answer.

Chapter 16

Now

I was wearing clothes reserved for date nights – ‘And this is a date night,’ Cora reminded me – but they felt ill-fitting. Although, the longer I waited for NiceGuy2022 – or Jeremy – to arrive, the more I realised that it was the entire experience that didn’t feel like a right fit. Jeremy had been the second person to message me on Plenty of Fish; the first man to message turned out to be someone Lily had slept with and ghosted already. ‘Why did you ghost him?’ Betty had asked, while she skimmed through the man’s profile, but Lily only waved the question away. Then Jeremy had messaged – ‘Absolutely not a nice guy, don’t believe that username,’ Faith narrated, as the voice of online dating experience – but we’d got on well enough for me to agree to coffee.

‘You could suggest dinner,’ Molly piped up, after an hour of stoic silence. She was as on the fence about me dating as I was. But these opportunities were sent to try us.

‘Don’t suggest dinner.’ Betty flat-out refused to budge. ‘Terrible idea.’