I felt so exhausted, even though there was still so much further that I would have to walk. I slumped backwards against the sofa’s cushions. It was no longer my refuge; it was my cage.

Amber’s eyes tracked me, her gaze intense. ‘But you and me, we can clean it up. We’re a great team. I meant everything I said to you. The love between the two of us is real.’ A soft smile warmed her face now, restored her momentarily to the woman I thought I knew. That I had loved. ‘There’s no greater healer than pure love, Rachel. I sincerely hope I’ve taught you that.’

An involuntary shudder moved through my body. I knew Amber so well by then. I could see by the set of her face that she had a plan for me.

Had always had one, in fact.

LILY

It’s not Amber who haunts my dreams now; instead it’s my lost lamb of a daughter. I’m almost grateful for those clammy nighttime flights of fancy, even though they make me ache with loss. Seeing her face, believing – however fleetingly – that we truly are together, is all the joy I can find within this monochrome existence of mine.

I’m not depressed; I’m just truthful with myself. It’s a very different thing.

RACHEL

‘You’ve always had a plan, haven’t you?’ I said, trying to drain the rage out of my voice. I couldn’t risk unleashing it just yet. ‘All of this – all of this care you had for me – was just about tearing our family apart.’

Amber shook her head. ‘You didn’t need me to do that. Your family was in freefall without my help. Do you remember where you were at when I arrived? Scraped off the pavement, your stomach pumped.’

‘Are you seriously still asking me to be grateful?’

‘I dragged you back onto your feet, Rachel,’ said Amber, a smile that felt real playing across her face. ‘I couldn’t let your mother destroy another life. Not on my watch.’

My brain was starting to focus now, working out the steps she must have taken. There was a time when Esther was buried deep in the heart of our family, in every sense. She’d been the one to care for Sophie day to day, to keep mine and Josh’s schedules faithfully recorded on the calendar in the kitchen, all while Mum was cementing the business she was so proud of and ignoring Dad’s bad behaviour. Esther would have walked away with a roadmap to our lives, one she could have handed over to her own mother when the time came to exact revenge.

‘You need to reach for your inner wisdom,’ crooned Amber, ‘your inner knowing, not just your knee-jerk response.’

‘What does that even mean?’ I said, willing my clarity to stay in place even as she told me riddles.