‘I’ve let you see who your parents really are. Your dad groomed my daughter, your mum finished off the job. You’d have killed yourself eventually, Rachel, I promise you that.’

I shuddered at the potential truth of that and saw her tiny nod of satisfaction at the sight. Her power over me, over all of us, meant everything to her.

‘You’re the sensitive one, Rachel. The one who demands honesty. Acting out your family’s dirty secrets, poisoning yourself to make sure their poison was visible.’

I shook my head. ‘What, so you’re trying to say you did all this for me? My life’s been destroyed by you…’

‘So you’d like to turn back the clock, would you?’ said Amber scathingly. ‘Your mother…’ – she spat out the word – ‘… gaslighted you, her own daughter, and made you think you were making up stories, destroying your perfect family. It’s no wonder you’ve had no self-confidence, no way to believe in love. You’ve spent your whole life thinking you can’t trust yourself because she told you that, and now you’ve made it true. You’re barely holding on to your job; you’re still one step away from a drink or a line. I’m the only one protecting you from yourself.’

Her words were like bullets: I couldn’t hold her at arm’s length anymore. ‘I’m trying!’ I sobbed. ‘I’ve tried so hard!’

‘You still need me to survive, Rachel,’ she said, her voice a caress. ‘The world’s too much for you. They’re too much for you.’

‘All you’ve done is lie to me. Manipulate me,’ I said, choked by my tears. ‘I don’t want you anywhere near me.’

‘Yes, you do,’ she replied softly. ‘You know you do. Look how much the truth hurts you. It’s not just me and Esther who deserve revenge.’

I looked over at her – at her sly, foxlike face. ‘What are you trying to say?’

She paused a second, weighing her words.

‘Your dad’s got away with a lot, hasn’t he? Thriving business, huge sums of money running through it with those property deals.’

‘And?’

‘He’s got a massive deal going through next week. Esther’s been helping with the paperwork.’

‘I don’t know anything about it.’

Amber stared at me, almost beseechingly. ‘Think how powerful the retreat was, Rachel.’

I stared at her in disbelief, my jaw tight with rage.

‘Amber, you have to answer my question about the drugs; you can’t just ignore me…’ I started, but she held up an imperious hand, her words drowning out mine. I hated myself for the way I was still letting her exert control. Shock and exhaustion made it so hard to fight her.