‘Let’s not get into the details now, Rachel. Let’s explore it properly when we’re together. Just know that I understand, and that I’m holding you in my thoughts. I’m sending you healing right now.’

‘Thank you,’ I breathed.

‘And of course you can come at Christmas, I’d be honoured to have you. I’ve even managed to swing you a little discount. It’s not much, but hopefully it goes some way to telling you how much you’re wanted.’

Wanted. The word was like a hot bath I could sink in to.

‘I’m so grateful!’ I said. ‘Thank you.’

‘Transfer me £1,500 if you can, by the end of the week. And just get the last £750 to us by Christmas Eve.’

Questions started to whirr. Who was the ‘us’ she was referring to, and how was it so much? I shoved the thoughts away. I was lucky she’d got me the discount – just imagine if she hadn’t. She was so kind, so caring.

Questions were too dangerous. They would stay that way for a while yet.

LILY

It disgusted me that I’d been reduced to this. Amber simply refused to see me, willfully disregarding the fact that it was our money that allowed her to work in this expensive enclave of west London. I say that; she somehow seemed to have chosen the most down-market pocket of W11 possible. I elbowed my way through the great unwashed that thronged the market, squashed in close enough to smell them. The stalls sold a mishmash of unrecognizable fruits and vegetables from far-flung places and the kind of overpriced old tat that had been optimistically rebranded as ‘antique’.

Eventually I found the tall townhouse that she practised out of. I ground to a halt on the doorstep, momentarily losing my nerve. What if she recognized my voice, refused to let me up? I’d made the appointment via a phone I’d bought from Carphone Warehouse, the kind of basic lump of plastic teenage drug dealers probably used to arrange drop-offs of molly.

My rage propelled my finger to the bell. Rachel was point-blank refusing to speak to us now, adamant that she wasn’t coming for Christmas. She was refusing to tell us what glorious festive plans she’d made instead: It’s something I need to guard for myself was all she’d said in her text.