I could just imagine it – their ‘Tipsy Mums W12’ WhatsApp group that they’d made a collective decision not to add me to. I didn’t care. Listening to them all droning on about whether Teletubbies was hilarious or rotting our children’s brains had been dull enough back in the day – God only knew what passed for stimulating discourse by this point.

‘Yes, the business has rather run away with me the past few years,’ I said airily. ‘It’s not like I ever advertised, but even just the word of mouth…’

‘Well, quite,’ agreed Deborah, a little too quickly. ‘We’re all in awe! And Nick, too. The Applebys are clearly property geniuses.’

I smiled icily. ‘So have quite a few of the St Johns gang ended up with Amber in their lives?’

Deborah was thinking. ‘Yes, yes they have.’

I was trying not to sound vindictive. ‘Surely other people must have seen how manipulative she is? How controlling?’

She was still hesitant.

‘I mean – I know she’s a strong character. No one would deny that she’s very forceful about her advice. But…’

‘What? What are you trying to say, Deborah?’

Deborah’s gaze was suddenly intense. ‘Did you ask anyone else about her before talking to me?’

‘No, I didn’t. I remembered you’d mentioned someone…’

‘Definitely?’ she said.

‘Yes!’ I said, irritated with her. ‘It’s really not the point here, Deborah…’

She waved a hand to silence me.

‘It’s just… I felt like when I asked Amber if I could give you her number, she already knew who you were. But that doesn’t make any sense, does it?’

RACHEL

It was two days later, and I was back sitting on Amber’s sofa, playing for time. She’d given me a cup of chamomile tea, and I dragged the bag back and forth through the yellowing hot water, trying to steel myself for what was to come.

I could feel Amber’s eyes on me. ‘It can be like this, when there’s been a rupture in the therapist/client relationship,’ she said eventually. ‘But if we can unpack what’s happened between us, we’ll find the gold.’

‘What has happened between us?’ I said.

She smiled at me. ‘Our first conflict. But conflict is part of healthy relationships. And learning to navigate it well will help you when you’re out in the big bad world. Healthy conflict brings people closer.’

I stared at her, fighting an internal battle. Either route felt deadly to me. I had to speak now.

‘Arthur was your boyfriend,’ I muttered.

‘Sorry?’

I looked up, the words ringing out on their second airing. ‘Arthur was your boyfriend.’

Amber’s eyes flashed with rage. ‘Rachel, I told you to leave that relationship alone. I handled it. I was protecting you – from yourself, as much as anyone.’

Nausea rose in me again, made me bold.