‘Hi baby,’ he said, leaning down to kiss my mouth. ‘How was she? I got stuck on the call until nine, so I just got some Deliveroo with Martin. Thank fuck for the mute button.’ He gestured at a grease spot on his shirt. ‘Noodles. Disaster.’

I smiled, the blackness of my mood momentarily lifting. He always made me laugh. Rachel did, too.

‘Don’t worry,’ I said, following him down the hallway to the kitchen. ‘We had fun without you.’ I hit the button on the filter tap. I hoped he didn’t see the way the water splished and splashed in response to my shaky grip on the glass.

‘How’d she seem?’ asked Nick. ‘She doing better?’

My eyes prickled with tears, and I kept my face turned away. I hit the button again, filled the glass right to the brim.

‘Lily? Are you alright?’

I stood there a second too long, holding tight to all of it. To everything that Rachel had said to me. Then I turned, a smile fixed in place.

‘Oh, I think I’m a bit drunk!’ I said, manufacturing a giggle. ‘It was actually really lovely,’ I said. ‘She’s doing much better at work.’ Nick nodded approvingly. ‘And she was drinking San Pellegrino all night.’

He exhaled, a broad grin on his face. ‘What, like it was vodka?’ I made a face that told him it was too soon for a joke like that. ‘And it’s okay with the two of you now?’

Humiliation twisted inside of me.

‘I just said it was lovely,’ I replied tartly. I softened my tone. ‘It’s cramped in there, cozy. It was embarrassing actually – the next table kept staring at us because we were laughing so much. She was telling me all about her big project at work, all the fools she has to tolerate to make it all work.’

He didn’t hear the edge to my voice. Only I did.

‘Thank Christ she’s back on track,’ said Nick. It was illogically irritating how easy it was to lie to him. It suited him, my version of events. He had the supreme luxury of believing me. ‘Let’s just hope it lasts. So, this Amber woman’s worth all the cash we’re throwing at her?’

I nearly broke then. I nearly threw myself at his grease-smeared chest, let the tears, which were so ready to flow, wash the stain away. But the thing was, Rachel was right, even though I couldn’t have admitted it yet. Truth was the most expensive luxury of all in this family.

‘Definitely,’ I said, squeezing his hand, already on the move. ‘I’ll see you upstairs.’

I was the biggest liar of all of us, of course, but it would be a while until any of them found me out.

RACHEL

The breath honked out of my nostrils like I had some kind of disgusting flu.