Nick and Toby were in the kitchen now, Josh and Chloe following behind them. I let go of Sophie’s arm and flung myself down at the kitchen table, giving way to the sobs that I’d been holding in since dawn. All of them looked at me as if I was some kind of grief sideshow. Nick eventually put a hand on each of my shoulders.

‘Let me call her again,’ he said, useless as ever. ‘She might pick up this time.’

Was this my punishment? Was this my punishment for what I’d done? I raised my head an inch.

‘If you want to call anyone, call that cunt,’ I hissed, too quietly for any children to hear. I hadn’t lost all sense of common decency.

At least not yet.

RACHEL

The living room had a static chill to it, partly from the temperature, partly from tension. The five of us – Amber’s tribe – sat on the two floral sofas opposite one another, while she and Arthur ruled over us from high-backed wooden chairs. I felt anxious and trapped, consumed by the sagging sofa with its sharp springs that poked up through the threadbare cushions, Tim and Hannah either side of me. I couldn’t help feeling as if Hannah was using the sloppiness of the soft furnishings to slide into my personal space. Right now we were taking a ‘deep, centring breath’, our eyes closed. Hannah’s was warm on my neck.

‘Lovely!’ chirped Amber, calling us back to full consciousness. ‘And before the day begins in earnest…’ – she cast a significant look at Arthur – ‘what delights we have in store… I wanted to appoint myself Secret Santa.’

She crossed to the sofa opposite ours and pulled out a cardboard box from behind it.

‘Someone might have to clarify the concept for you, Amber,’ said Arthur, in his deep, sonorous voice. God, he was posh. ‘I don’t think you’re all that undercover.’

‘Point taken,’ giggled Amber, handing him a package wrapped in shiny red paper. She continued on to Marco. ‘No opening these until everyone’s got one.’

People were already starting to pipe up with thanks and appreciation. ‘Your present’s upstairs,’ said Joanna and, while Amber protested, I could tell she was delighted. I cursed myself for not bringing her a gift – why had I taken her at her word when she’d said not to bring anything but myself? Of course, my gift was my maxed-out credit card, but it was still too early in my relationship with Amber for me to admit that to myself.

I slipped my fingers under the sellotape. Hannah, a few seconds ahead of me, was already bouncing with delight beside me.

‘Thank you, thank you, thank you!’ she said, holding up the bubble bath we’d both received. Hers was lemongrass, mine was sea kelp. ‘You know I love lemongrass, don’t you?’