‘If only is such an emotive phrase, isn’t it? I’ve spent my entire adult life so far, being sensible and cherishing every single moment spent with the ones I love. They are my reason for being and if they’re happy, I’m happy,’ I confess.

‘It sounds perfect. But life is rarely that, I’ve discovered. And somewhere within that is you – never forget that you are equally as deserving of “me” time, as anyone else.’ Her face reflects a sorrow that can only come from within. I have no idea what troubles Patricia has had in the past, but I can see something is weighing heavily upon her. She’s waiting for me to continue, unable or unwilling to share her private thoughts. I wonder if I open up to her, whether she’ll change her mind about that.

‘I had an older sister, Rachel. She died in a tragic accident in 2010. A loss of that magnitude changes how you look at everything. We rarely talk about her because my parents have never let go of their grief. I felt I had to step up and take over her role while missing her so much, because she wasn’t just my sister, she was my best friend. A truly beautiful soul.’

‘I’m so sorry for your loss, Fern, that can’t be easy even now.’ The empathy is real and I give Patricia a tearful smile.

‘I wonder now what would happen if I stepped outside the lines I’ve drawn for myself, for a while. Would I simply be content to cross back over again and lead a life that has always given me everything I wanted? Or would I, like so many other people out there, become dissatisfied and ruin what I have? Rachel would be disappointed in me if I did that.’

Patricia reaches out to place her hand on my arm, gently giving it a squeeze. ‘I think you are a sensible enough woman to make the right decision for the right reasons, Fern. Wherever that leads you. Human beings aren’t perfect and we all make mistakes. But the human condition includes forgiveness, as well as reminding us of our mortality.’

I feel my eyes beginning to well up with tears as she stands, and I ease myself upright to take her arm. Tears for Rachel and tears for Aiden.

Suddenly Patricia looks very tired and I realise this conversation is done.

‘Time to stroll back. I’m painting this evening.’ My voice isn’t quite as bright as I’d like it to be, but Patricia gives me an encouraging smile.

‘Ceana was telling me, in confidence, about the plans they have for expanding the facilities here. I think it’s a wonderful idea, don’t you?’