The wave of positivity that floods over me is undeniable. I begin to read the personal little messages until tears obscure my vision.

Thank you for listening to me, it meant a lot.

I will most certainly be taking your advice, lovely lady!

No one knows about our little late-night feast, right? Heh! Heh! J x

I will always miss Spook, but when I get home, I’ll head to the pet shop, I promise, Fern.

So glad I gave pottery a go, as you suggested. Dirty nails, or not lol.

May 2019

31

What Price a Muse?

It’s unsettling when your gut instinct is trying to grab your attention but you keep pushing it away. The warning is hard to ignore, but I don’t quite know what to do about it, and that’s the dilemma. All day, Nico and I have been avoiding each other after I managed to upset him again without uttering a word.

Since the Marquesa’s visit, the rift between us has never really closed, maybe because Nico knows I saw the connection between them. The one he constantly tries to ignore.

Isabel rang earlier and, unfortunately, I was in the room when he took the call. I couldn’t really catch any of what was said as it was all spoken in Spanish, but his body language told me they were arguing. When he turned, he caught me looking at him and I could see the anger in his eyes.

‘What have I done wrong now? She wants what she can’t have. There’s no more to say.’

‘Except the things you are keeping back, Nico. Why are you so afraid to admit that you are in love with her?’

He spins around on his heels, his back taut. Then he remembers something and his voice softens. ‘Isabel says you have sold your first painting and another one has been reserved. She will be in touch.’

Now my mind is whirling. There are only eight weeks left before I head for home, and Nico and I are becoming increasingly subdued in each other’s company.

I should be happy, my heart soaring because the Marquesa was so complimentary about my work and it’s going so well. This is truly wonderful news. I can sense that Nico is angry with himself because he realises how important this moment is to me, but his anger has overcome him.

The pressure is on now, as I need to finish as many canvases as I can while I’m here. I have no idea how long it will be once I get home until I can paint again. Isabel is a woman who thinks with her head first, her heart second. She’s all about the business and that’s what makes it all so incredible for me, and significant.