What a huge relief it is to hear him say that. I’ve been wondering if he’s been quiet recently because our old life seems rather staid and boring by comparison. His eyes have been opened to so many things beyond our safe little world at home. Would the thought of coming back to me be enough?

‘Funny, we’re thousands of miles apart and you still know when I need you. Now that’s love.’ His words are full of emotion.

I can feel the tears just waiting to be unleashed, but I hold myself in check. Deep breaths, Fern, end this on a high note.

As we say our goodbyes and disconnect, I close my eyes, trying to remember what it felt like to be wrapped in Aiden’s arms. I give up, wondering how I’m going to get through another six months like this, knowing the divide between us could grow and trying not to imagine someone else in his arms.

Any thoughts of Nico are now fading into the shadows as I accept the inevitable. Our paths were only ever meant to cross for the briefest of moments – one year in an entire lifetime seems forever when you are living it, though. When, eventually, I look back, all of this will seem like a distant dream and I know that I will be given the strength to get through it.

March 2019

27

Facing One’s Fears

The Haven is busy. Since Christmas, the weather has been very mixed; January and February saw several flurries of snow falling over a large area of France that didn’t hang around for very long but were a nuisance. But it hasn’t stopped the new arrivals and we’ve been full virtually the whole time.

The twentieth of March is officially the start of spring, but the beginning of the month has brought strong winds, interspersed with bouts of heavier than normal rainfall. The sort that permeates every little nook and cranny if you venture out, and leaves you feeling miserable. At least in the frosty weather, when there was a little crunch beneath our feet, we could wrap up and enjoy a long walk. But it’s frustrating waiting for spring to really make its presence felt.

Even Bastien has been running indoor workshops, with only the odd session down in the barns. He’s taken over the ground floor of the art studio in the courtyard, with Nico’s classes now confined to the mezzanine. Bastien teaches tooling on squares of vegetable tanned leather. Visitors can make bookmarks, belts and wallets.

What I found touching is that, despite the weather, Taylor and Bastien designed and assembled Fred’s bench for me. Made from solid oak I purchased from a local sawmill, it now has the most beautiful plaque inscribed with:

In memory of Fred, beloved husband of Patricia.

Heaven is where you are now,

Inside the hearts of everyone whose lives you touched.