We are all in tears as we come together, hugging each other in Fred’s memory. Nico and I are marvelling at the kindness of two wonderful and generous people.

The last piece of the puzzle is finally in place and Patricia and I hold Nico up as he sobs quietly, his body trembling.

Fate had a plan, after all.

My heart feels both empty and full at the same time. This is the end of years of torment for Nico and, as it turns out, I had a very small part to play in it. One I could never have imagined. And now it’s over, but I don’t seem able to visualise the moment when I drive away and return to my old life. A light is extinguishing deep inside of me, as if an icy blast has infiltrated my heart.

26

Jealousy or Guilt?

‘Hi, Aiden, can you talk?’

I’m phoning on a flimsy excuse, because after an emotional day and then waving Patricia and Stefan off, I feel empty. Needy, even. Nico retired to his room early and there’s a party going on in the day room, but my heart wasn’t in it. It’s nearly midnight, so early evening in Mexico. I’m propped up on the bed, with only the light from the moon outside filtering into the darkened room.

‘It’s fine. I’ve just arrived back. We’re having a bit of a party here later tonight. It’s been a tough week, though.’ He sounds jaded.

‘Same here. I’m not in a party mood, either.’

‘Problems?’

He’s more at ease tonight, obviously content to talk and I’m guessing wherever he is, he’s alone for the first time in a long while.

‘One of the first visitors I gelled with here, dropped in for lunch today on her way further down south. Her husband was ill, and she came to the retreat for a little respite, but he’s since died. She’s made a very generous gift on his behalf and it touched my heart. She was very good to me in that first week after I arrived, when I was feeling a little lost.’

‘It must have been tough for you, I didn’t quite realise—’ Aiden clearly thinks I’m making a point.

‘No. I don’t mean it like that. She was kind and went out of her way to ease things for me. I, um, want to buy a bench to replace an old rotting one down by the lake. Something sturdy that will last for years and get a plaque with her husband’s name engraved on it. What do you think?’

‘No need to ask me. Just do it. It’s a lovely gesture.’

‘It will probably cost a couple of hundred pounds and I know you were a bit concerned about the kitty.’