He nods. ‘I agree. However, my father didn’t. After he completed this portrait of my mother, she wouldn’t allow him to reuse the canvas, which he often did in those days. That was before his drug phase. It only survived because of her, but it has never been hung on a wall, because to him it represented his inadequacy. For me, it’s a fond memory of my mother, but it also reminds me of his madness.’

His pain is so real, it seems to envelop me.

‘That’s so sad, Nico. What incredible skill he had and yet he could only see the tiniest of flaws that probably exist in every painting. But at least he had the satisfaction of seeing some of his work sell before he died.’

Nico turns to face me and I can see the anguish in his eyes. ‘Yes, but that ended up being the reason he killed himself.’

10

At Least Somebody Needs Me

‘Hi, Fern. How was your afternoon?’

‘Good, thank you, Patricia. I have a couple of pages of little drawings and learnt a few things about perspective. How was your session?’

I move along the bench so that Patricia can sit next to me, avoiding a rough patch of splintered and peeling, sun-bleached wood. It’s a nice quiet spot and after another of Margot’s tempting dinners in which I ate a little too much, I feel rather drowsy. If I’d stopped at the main course, I would have been fine. But who can resist a traditional tarte aux poires? Not me, anyway.

‘To my surprise, it went very well. I actually managed, with a little direction, to throw quite a nice little pot. Odile has filled the kiln and the pots are firing overnight. We get to glaze them tomorrow. I’m so glad you suggested it. I had a very interesting chat with Stefan, too, and he was very helpful. Nice man, actually.’

I can hardly believe it. I don’t think I’ve seen Patricia talk to anyone other than myself or Kellie. She’s certainly beginning to open up and looks very relaxed this evening.

‘Kellie is staying on for another week, maybe two. Did she tell you?’

Patricia shakes her head. ‘I didn’t know that. Oh, I am so pleased for her, though. She’s getting on so well with Taylor. I noticed she was one of his little group this afternoon.’

I look at her, rather surprised, and she raises her eyebrows, indicating that Kellie’s news isn’t entirely unexpected.

‘Oh. That could be a bit awkward. He’s a good ten years older than her, I reckon. Do you think I should mention it to Nico?’