I too remembered so vividly the moonlight shining in through the expanse of glass, covering my body in soft shadows. Nico made me feel beautiful, truly beautiful, that night. In a way that I had never done before – revered, flaws and all. Time seemed to stand still for us both, as if it wasn’t real, but merely a dream.

I sit for a while, my mind in a whirl. Then I pick up the phone and dial Hannah.

‘Sorry it’s late, but I did as you suggested and I finally read Nico’s letter.’

She stifles a yawn and I realise I’ve woken her; I only hope I haven’t disturbed anyone else.

‘Was he begging you to return?’ she asks, suddenly alert.

‘No. But he’s saying he was in love with me.’

The seconds pass and I think Hannah is as stunned as I am.

‘You must go to see him, Fern, before you decide what you are going to do next. He has no idea what has been happening, or that you’re a free agent now.’

I close my eyes for a moment, blocking out the view of the twinkling lights in the distance, which seem to be dancing around in the darkness. Or maybe that’s just the effect of my tears.

‘I walked away from him because Aiden was waiting for me, Hannah. Throughout my life it’s been about love, duty and responsibility. I always thought those three things went hand in hand. I had no idea love could change; that it could wane and become friendship. With Nico it’s different. We never talked like lovers do because that wasn’t the nature of our relationship; our connection was on a more spiritual level. If he’s saying it was more than that, then he was lying to me all along.’

‘And how about you, Fern? Were you being honest? Is it possible that you couldn’t allow yourself to admit your true feelings? There’s no shame in that; you didn’t hold a grudge against Aiden with regard to Joss. These things happen and none of us can pick and choose our feelings; it’s instinctive when we’re drawn to someone.’

I think it’s time I told her my guilty secret, but I’m scared that putting it into words will sound damning.

‘Nothing happened between us, Hannah, but I allowed Nico to paint me in the nude. Oh, my reasons were genuine because I thought… well, it’s a long story, but it was supposed to allow him to finish off a painting of a woman sitting by the lake. It was beautiful, hauntingly so, but he wasn’t meant to be painting me, I was merely a model. In his letter he says it’s my portrait he has hung on the wall and I would never have agreed to sit for him if I’d realised that was his intention.’