‘I know. And unwittingly my stupid little life panic put me in danger of losing everything we have. All I’ve discovered is that without you I don’t make good choices. I’ve seen some wonderful sights, Fern, but it made me question everything and I messed up.’

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath in. I’ve been living in dread of this moment and what I might discover about myself, and Aiden, when it finally arrived. But I thought I’d have some time here alone to gather my thoughts before he returned. To discover that he’s been here, facing the same dilemma, is too much to comprehend. What have we done to ourselves?

‘I put us in this position, babe, and I realised, too late, it had turned into a test. One that could go either way. The temptations out there—’

My heart feels like a leaden weight inside my chest.

‘We need to be honest with each other.’ I stare up into Aiden’s eyes and he leads me into the sitting room and over to the sofa. As we sit side by side, I’m glad I don’t have to look directly at him.

‘I’d hoped we’d simply fall into each other’s arms and everything would be back to normal, but the old normal wasn’t working any more, was it.’ It’s an admission, more than a question.

Aiden has been the centre of my life since I was sixteen years old. I thought I knew him inside and out, but as I turn to glance at him, I have no idea what he’s thinking any more. Is it the same for him as he stares back at me? I wonder.

‘This is a new beginning for us, then. If that’s what you want.’ I will my voice to sound strong, positive and not desperate.

‘I slept with Joss,’ he blurts out, and his head droops forward. He stares at his hands as he laces his fingers together, his knuckles turning white.

‘Did you think I didn’t know that?’ I mutter, my voice barely audible. I thought if I kept pushing my fears away, it would make them less real, but deep down I knew what was going on.

‘I’m sorry, Fern,’ he says in a half-sob. ‘I didn’t mean for it to happen and I know that’s a lame excuse. Joss gave me an ultimatum and I walked away. It’s like I stepped outside my life for a while and I wasn’t thinking. I hoped that coming back here would help me make sense of things again.’

‘And has it?’

He launches himself back into the cushions, turning to look at me. ‘The moment I heard your voice and then saw you sitting there, I suddenly felt… safe again.’