My stomach drops as I stare at him. ‘You’re regretting the last seven years – the choices we made?’

‘No!’ The word hurtles towards me at speed, like a bullet shattering the silence. He begins shaking his head emphatically, his hands now balled together in front of him, making a fist.

Aiden stares up at the ceiling and I have no words I can offer because I don’t understand what’s going on inside his head.

He was emotionally distraught when his grandma died a year ago. But this is different. This is something I have never seen in him before and it scares me.

I’m finally staring in the face of the fear that I have been carrying around with me for nearly six months now. And I don’t know what to do, or say.

Aiden leans forward in his seat, extending one hand across the table towards me. Instinctively I reach out and our fingers intertwine.

‘I love you, Fern. I always have, and I always will. But suddenly I don’t know who I am beneath the outer façade I show to the world… So many different things to different people and yet inside I’m feeling lost right now. I know I should just be grateful for the life we have and count my blessings. I tell myself that constantly but—’

But? The silence is painful while I wait, and our fingers slowly drift apart.

‘But it doesn’t seem to help me make sense of this feeling I have of… it not being enough. As if there’s something I’m supposed to do, something that will make a difference, and yet I don’t know what.’

‘Something better than us? I had no idea you felt this way, Aiden – why didn’t you say something before now?’

He looks shocked to hear the anger in my voice.

‘Fern, I’m just trying to explain something that I’m not sure even I can fully comprehend. This isn’t about having regrets and I’m sorry if that’s the way it’s coming across. You’ve come into your own and you’re blossoming, and I love that. You aren’t just a beautiful, intelligent and caring wife, daughter and sister, you can achieve anything you want. You deserve to have someone alongside you who is equally as strong and focused, but suddenly I’m second-guessing everything I do. It makes me feel weak, as if I’m a fraud and I’m taking the easy way out.’

‘I feel as if you’re punishing me for something, when all I’ve ever done is put you – us – first. Whatever I do, I’m going to give it one hundred and ten per cent because that’s who I am. You know that, Aiden. I’m not competing with you, or trying to prove anything. I just want us to be happy.’