I woke up on the bathroom floor, shivering. It wasn’t cold, but I couldn’t stop my body’s reaction to whatever it was trying to eliminate from its system. I lifted myself off the floor; my head protested as loudly as my stomach. I put my hand on the basin, steadying myself as I waited for the room to stop spinning. I turned the tap and washed my face with ice-cold water before slowly walking to the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee. As the kettle boiled, I opened the cupboard. There was no alcohol left, but that was not what I was after. I needed aspirin for my head. The black coffee would take care of my stomach.

Sitting in the living room with the piping hot brew in my hands, I opened my phone and watched the screen fill with hearts. I posted my first photo of the day, remembering to add the required hashtags. My follower count was growing faster than even I had anticipated, and while it seemed I had everything I dreamed of, I couldn’t help feeling that my life was falling apart.

Finishing my coffee, I walked to the bathroom and switched the shower on; I tested the temperature before getting in. The warm water soothed my stiff muscles. My mind went over the plans for the week, mentally noting each outfit I would wear for my clients. I had the club opening on Friday, something I couldn’t miss, and as much as I wanted Kavya with me, I didn’t feel like listening to her nagging me about how much I was drinking or how little I was eating.

Back in the kitchen, I took out a protein bar and bit into it, oblivious to how terrible it actually tasted. I threw the wrapper in my bin, not wanting to deal with Kavya’s disapproval again.

I did my makeup and dressed for the day’s shoot before leaving my apartment, bag in hand. Outside, the city smells assaulted my stomach. I turned left at the top of my street and walked into the nearest pharmacy. Off the shelves, I picked up an antacid, and from the corner of my eye, a packet of old-fashioned dieting pills caught my attention. I remembered stories from when I was in school about how other students would take them to stay awake to study. I grabbed two boxes and placed them on the counter along with the antacid, ignoring the dirty looks from the woman serving me. Two shops down, I went into the local market to buy a bottle of water and a replacement bottle of vodka. I slipped the vodka into my bag and hailed a taxi.