‘I thought if they got to know you, they would see that their arranged marriage plans didn’t matter. That, maybe, they would even discuss marriage with your Maa.’ She held her composure, trying to explain her logic. I shook my head, feeling deep betrayal. She took my hand and brushed her fingers over my knuckles; her eyes implored me to try and understand.

‘I love you, Sakshi,’ I whispered.

‘I …’ There was a catch in her voice. I sensed she wanted to say the words that were so easy for her to say not even a week ago. Instead, she said two words I thought I would never forget. ‘I know,’ she responded.

As she walked away, I was sure my heart shattered in my chest. I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t feel anything other than a rising pain that I thought would consume me. Pushing my way through the couples milling around on the pavements, I hailed a taxi. I couldn’t handle the crowds that I knew would be waiting for me on public transport. At the apartment, Maa was sitting on her chair in the living room. She looked at me, her expression changing from enthusiasm to pity the second she saw the sorrow in my eyes. Throwing her arms outwards, she beckoned me to her. Unashamedly, I cried in my mother’s arms. I released all the betrayal I felt; all the heartbreak I had held inside while Sakshi had spoken. Eventually, when I could think of no other reasons to cry, I pulled back from her and sat at her feet. I told her what happened, how Sakshi had to decide between three men, none of whom was me. My mother placed her hand on my cheek with a gentle smile.

‘Ashray, Sakshi rejecting you is not a sign that you did anything wrong or that you are a bad person. Do you understand?’ I nodded, not sure why this was relevant to my situation. ‘Sometimes we fall in love with people because we feel time is moving too quickly, but that person may not be the right one. Your life, your pain right now, is just a way to guide you back to the person you are meant to be with. She is one person, Ashray, not every person. You will find the right woman, I promise you.’

I smiled, sure that when the raw emotions subsided, I would understand what she was saying. I kissed her on the forehead, telling her that I needed to sleep. In bed, I plugged my phone in, not bothering to check for messages. I buried my head in my pillow and cried. When Sakshi walked out of my life, she took a part of me—a part that I felt was vital to survive. Like waking from a deep sleep to find that you no longer have your legs. That you need to relearn everything you thought that you knew.