‘There’s a box of protein bars in my bedroom, do you think you could get them? Might as well get all the foodstuff in their place,’ I said while pouring hot water into the mugs. As soon as I heard her rummaging through the boxes in my bedroom, I reached for the vodka. Not measuring out how much I poured, I quickly replaced the lid and tucked it back in its usual spot. Being careful to remember whose mug was whose, I placed Kavya’s in its usual spot before joining her in the bedroom.

‘Coffee’s ready.’ I reached over and grabbed the box.

‘Where have you been sleeping?’ She looked around the room at the piles of unworn clothes and letters littered across the bed.

I shrugged. ‘Here—I just move everything when it’s time to sleep. Come, the coffee will get cold.’ I led her out of the room, placed the unopened box of protein bars in the ‘to try’ box, and sat down to drink my coffee. I would need the caffeine and alcohol if I was going to make it through the day, sorting out the mess that had become my life since the festival.

As we cleared up, Kavya and I spoke about how my following had grown. Eventually she relented, handing me back my phone when I whined that we could film an unboxing. I dressed her in some of my already reviewed clothing, put on an outfit sent by a leading brand, did her makeup and mine, and recorded the unboxing of a new diet sweet that was on the market. Within forty-five minutes, I had enough material to satisfy five new brands.

Happily, I shared how brand deals worked with Kavya, although I wasn’t entirely sure how it worked myself. At this point, I felt I was in too deep, that I might drown in my new fame. But failure was not an option. This was my life now, and I would not allow the one thing I had been dreaming of for so long to slip through my fingers because of laziness. After our third cup of coffee, I began to worry that Kavya could smell the alcohol on my breath. I suggested we eat, and she offered to go to the nearby restaurant to get some food. As the door closed behind her, I downed a quarter of the bottle of vodka in my cupboard. I picked up a handful of the appetite-suppressing sweets and chewed through them to mask the smell. When she got back with the takeaway containers, I was buzzed again, the sweets giving me the energy boost I needed. We sat on the living room floor, laughing while we ate and packed clothing and makeup into boxes. Eventually, I was able to convince her that I was tired and wanted to call it a day. Standing up from where we sat on the floor, I swayed.