‘Life & People’, a support group, was put together not only in memory of Ashray’s Maa, but in honour of all those brave souls struggling to make it through the challenges in their lives. It came to us one night when I was feeling low. I turned to Ashray, questioning him about the purpose of my life. He admitted that he often felt the same way. Life was good, we had nothing to complain about, but somehow, leaving
Dr Shyam’s office, watching the young woman dashing for the door, bewildered and alone, left a lasting impression. Our story wasn’t complete; our personal pain had a meaning, a purpose outside of teaching us to take better care of ourselves. What if everyone had a Kavya, a Rishi, a Jhanvi or an Ashray? What if there was one person who could hold your hand to the doctor’s office door, or who would pull you out of bed with the promise that tomorrow would be better? If you knew that someone could help you through your treatment, without judgement, with understanding and love, someone who could hear what your heart was saying and embrace it through all the noise?

I always wondered what my purpose was, outside of the path I had chosen, outside of the noise and the disposable life I had created. And now, in the community centre hall, as I watched Ashray speaking to a group of people, smiling kindly, reassuring them, I knew what it was. My pain and my healing had a purpose and that was the best I could have hoped for as I continued my journey to becoming whole again. He always spoke of his Maa’s ability to give advice, but he was really good at it too. As for me, I was there more to comfort those who broke down, bringing them back from the brink. The physical touch I so desperately craved, I wanted to give to others. I wanted to give them strength, and to let them know that they were loved. Human contact, I had learned, was how I expressed my love, and once I was able to receive love, I was able to give it freely.

It was a year-and-a-half since my breakdown. A year-and-a-half of recovery. The journey continued, together with my parents’ blessings, and the support of Kavya and Ashray. Finally, I understood that by surrounding myself with good people, people who lifted me instead of judging me, I could shine through the darkness that society emitted so readily.