From the moment I met him, nervous and unsure of himself on his first day at BusinessForward, I felt a connection to him that I knew would turn into a lifelong friendship. He lacked confidence, a trait I knew was rooted in his past, and confidence was not something I had ever lacked. Perhaps it was the fact that I grew up in a big family, where one had to be fought to be heard, that drove me to help him find his voice. Everything else I identified with. The deep need to be acknowledged and to know that I was seen and appreciated was perhaps the greatest affiliation I felt towards him. I had learned many years ago that my smile and carefree attitude were my greatest weapons in hiding my insecurities and, as I got older, I deployed them with frightening efficiency. The fact remained, though, that I too wanted to be needed, and the fear of rejection would always play a massive role in my ability to cope with what life threw my way.

With Ashray, I felt important, felt needed, and I enjoyed it in the beginning, perhaps serving my own selfish needs. As our friendship developed, I realised that I liked the guy. Truly liked him. I felt closer to him than I did to my own family; my siblings—now all scattered across the globe—usually got together once or twice a year in a raucous cacophony of who wanted to be heard first. With Ashray, I could be myself, could talk and actually be heard. He was a breath of fresh air, the male friend I never knew I needed.

I soon realised that Ashray was instrumental in me being able to heal myself from my past hurts, from my breakup, and from my parents being halfway across the world. He gave me a sense of belonging and a safe place I could call home. He was my person, the one human being who never judged me, yet somehow, I could never articulate that to him. I could never let him know how I felt. Expressing how I felt was never my strong point. For him, though, it seemed easy. He wore his heart on his sleeve, eagerly handing out his love in the same way I handed out cups of coffee in a bid to be liked or accepted.

When Sakshi came along, Ashray finally seemed completely content. A natural at his job, he flourished from day one, but with Sakshi by his side he seemed to finally have found his purpose. A drive to start the family he so desperately wanted. Not even once did I see their breakup coming. She seemed so sincere and so in love with him that I didn’t think anything would drive them apart. Unfortunately, I had misread her.